Unconventional Conventionalist

Still Here, I Promise!

2012-01-23T09:52:00.003-06:00

I promise I am still here! I have been focused on my other blog, school, work and getting ready to move in May. I will be in soon on a health/weight/new year post, I promise! Till then, take a gander at my craft blog to see what I have been up to!

Re-Commitment Day

2011-11-13T14:31:00.001-06:00

December 2009 - 290lbs

My 2 year anniversary is coming up. Two years of struggling with my weight, my (lack of) desire to exercise and my desire for Little Debbie's. The first year, for the most part, was pretty good. I found myself working out 5 days a week, usually 1.5 hours a day, with a nice mix of walking, running, and weights mixed in. The sometime around this time last year, it started to slow down. Last year at this time I am pretty sure I weighed about 252//254-ish lbs. This year I am hovering around 244-246 lbs. Unfortunately this hovering within this 10lbs range between last Xmas and this Thanksgiving has lasted ALL year. I thought it was a problem with my diet, perhaps I had hit a plateau or something. Maybe my body was just done.

Spring 2011 - Appx 245 lbs

I think it was more that I was just done. I had gotten complacent, bored and ho-hum about my weight loss. I was still, for the most part, working out consistently, at least 4 days per week. But the workouts had become nothing more than 3 mile walks. Good because I was still moving, bad because it was not challenging me or my muscles. Tracking food had become hit or miss. I would have weeks where I was on top of it, and then weeks where I winged it. Good because it showed that I had a pretty good handle on my eating, bad because I was not holding myself accountable. Add these together and you get a stalled weight loss regimen.

I am happy that I have not gained weight per se. Usually when I fall off the weight loss wagon, I hit a Boston Creme Pie and undo everything I worked for in a matter of months. So, I will give my self props for maintaing to 40+ lbs loss I achieved. But the time for maintaining, the time for good enough, is over. Its time to get back to my eagle eyed focus on the goal, a healthy body I am comfortable in, whether it be a size 10 or a size 12. I want to see muscle definition. I want to put on a little black dress and feel sexy. Not because I am "thin" but because I am healthy, toned and I am in the body I worked my ass off (literally hopefully, because it could be smaller!) for.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, due to some of the emotional upheaval I have been having with people around me, about how I want the people in my life to treat me. I want to be respected, not always be choice number two, and loved for who I am. But I forgot the most important lesson I learned 13 years ago when I stood up for myself and broke up with an abusive lover. No one will treat you any better than you either expect or demand to be treated. If you allow people to hit you, physically or metaphorically, they will. If I want to be number one in someones life, respected by those around me and loved for who I am, then I have to love myself, treat myself with respect and put myself first. That means not only carving out time for my creative pursuits, but focusing back on my health, my body and my happiness.

I want to be at 200lbs, the weight I was when I met Hayden (and while not perfectly healthy, I liked the way I looked then) when I walk across that stage for my law degree in May.

I recommit to my health today. I will work out my 5 days per week, and not just walk (I just bought a bike and boy are my butt muscles sore!). I will left weights, run and bike, and even still walk. I will write down what I eat, and be accountable on good days and bad. I will continue to blog once a month, or more when possible here, because I feel that people need to see that real weight loss is not 16 lbs losses per week on the Biggest Loser, but people struggling each day to be just a little better than the day before.

I will love myself and treat myself with the respect I deserve.

So Glad September is Over

2011-10-10T07:14:00.002-05:00

September was the month from hell. What should have been awesome, the beginning of th last year of law school and my 34th birthday, started off quietly and ended with a face plant into a brick wall, literally. I blogged about the hot mess it turned into here, I don't want to relive it again, lol.

My healthy eating and exercise took a back seat from all the stress. I did not track anything, my workouts were hit or miss (more miss than anything), and I have been smoking since September 7th. Not happy about any of this at all. Luckily I maintained my current weight within 2lbs through all of this. I may not have been writing everything down, but my eating schedule and what I normally eat is so ingrained in me that I can kinda gauge my caloric intake in my head, and stop myself when I have had enough. Course I think the smoking helped too.

Once again I have to re-fight the good fight to quit. This will be what, 9 times I have tried to quit now? It's getting ridiculous. I mean I have walked away from every vice I have had, ('kept for Diet Mtn Dew, you'll pry that out of my cold, dead hands), I have, pardoning the mess of last month, completely changed my eating and exercise lifestyle, but after 6 months of being quit I come crawling back to cigarettes like they are heroin or something. I love them, I hate them, I want them out of my life, for good. Goddess help me, lol.

I am slowly getting my mojo back. I am tracking my food more consistently, working out again (till I threw out my back Saturday, should be good by Wednesday to workout) and fighting the good fight with cigs (I am almost taking it like I think AA does it, one hour/day at a time). It's like having to relearn all my good food tracking/workout habits though since they slacked off for almost a month. I am started to get back in the swing of school too, even though the semester is almost done. I am doing another major Legal Symposium and CLE Day this year, which since I have done it already, it will take less planning, but I still need to get off my duff and get it started.

It is amazing how one month of mess completely derailed the carefully constructed regime I have made for myself, and how long it has taken me to get some semblance of order back into my days.

Livestrong is Going Strong

2011-09-16T10:30:00.002-05:00

Just a little update on the Plateau Project. I have been using Livestrong.com, both online and on my iPhone, and it seems to be working. Each week I lost a pound, a loss that perfectly ok with me. I would really rather have a small, but consistent loss, than the roller coaster I have been on, weight wise, for the past 6 months. I do miss the "extra" points/calories I was allowed on WW, but for the most part, it seems to be just as easy to stay within a calorie goal, as a long as I plan ahead, than it was to stay within my points. I also feel like it is a perfect "next step" for me in my weight loss. I learned how to eat healthier within points, and now I am learning how to really evaluate the calories I am eating, what they are "worth" in terms of amount and nutritional value, and make choices from there.

I still have poor choices days, ones where I eat that little fun size bag of M&M's in the afternoon, and then REALLY have to watch what I eat as a night snack because I wasted my calories on something crappy earlier, but such is life. I am even more happy to report that this is so ingrained in me now, that I spent a week in Hollywood, living off of restaurant food, and then came back home to birthday dinners and whatnot, and only backslid to the total of .6 lbs gained. I was expecting much worse, but I guess I am getting better at making good food choices every single time I can, so I can indulge here and there.

Why is Nothing Working? GRRRRR!!

2011-08-24T04:30:00.000-05:00

I have to admit I am just a little discouraged with this whole weight loss thing. After looking over my weight loss charts I realized that I have been in the 254-244lbs range SINCE XMAS. Now I admit, there were weeks were I had less than stellar eating habits, but since I have never been a binger, it was really just more of social event eating (i.e I had an extra hot dog, or a couple bears, nothing extravagant) or I had to make a choice of two evils at a restaurant, and it was still a crappy choice. I really can't believe that it would cause me to stay where I am at weight wise for this long of a period. Honestly I am scared that if it keeps up I am finally going to revert back to my old habits and say screw it.

But, to help stave off this, what I feel is, impending doom, I am trying to re-work (as suggested by a number of people) how I am approaching my weight loss. Last post I said I had officially dropped the "new" Weight Watchers. Plateau or not, I ended up hating the new system. It just didn't mesh as well as the old with me and the results were not as consistent as my first time around on the "old" system. I would rather lose .5 lb every week consistently than lose 4 one week and then gain 1 the next. While it is still a net loss, its more of a psychological thing. Now, I am taking a break from WW altogether and trying just straight calorie counting with Livestrong.com. It takes out the "extra" weekly points but still allows me to eat fairly close to what I was eating before, I just have to be a little more mindful of each days planned food. I have also rethought my workouts. I had been walking 3 miles per day, 5 days per week for the past 6 months. I am now doing 1/4 mile running/walking intervals for 3 miles on Monday/Friday, Walking 30 mins/Free Weights 30 mins on Wed/Saturday and walking 3 miles on Sunday. I am also adding more protein to my diet through GNC's Lean Shake because that will help build lean muscle. I am trying to remember to take my vitamins, and I am taking some caffeine supplements to try and jump start my metabolism. I don't know if the supplements are working, but I have to say that this is the most awake and alert I have felt in YEARS, and there is no jitters and no crash. So money well spent even if they don't help me drop any weight. Hopefully, these things, as I am told, will help bump me out of this limbo I am in.

What did/do you do in situations like this?

Weight Watchers Lost My Money

2011-08-02T08:07:00.000-05:00

I finally did it. I shut my WW subscription off last week. I am officially back on the old, Momentum, plan. I have been having a lot of issues with plateau, losing one week, gaining the next, even on weeks when I know I followed the plan perfectly. I was super frustrated with the whole thing (on a good note, I realized it never once occurred to me to stop trying to lose weight, which is vastly different than what I would have done before all of this.

I had been thinking in the back of mind that possibly the Points Plus plan just wasn't for me. See I think different plans work for different people, and you should try a few to see what works for you. The "old" WW had always, never fail, worked for me. Thankfully I still had all my materials I bought off of eBay years ago, so even though I love the online conveience of the new WW, I shut it off. Last week, the first week back on the old plan, I dropped 2.1 lbs and felt better too. Half way through this week, I al already down another pound. I think the P+ plan was allowing me to eat more than I should, and it wasn't giving me something the old plan did. Now, I am NOT knocking the new plan. It is working great for a lot of people. Like I said, much like strokes for different folks, its plans for different clans... ya dig?

If you are interested in changing plans, check eBay for old member kits. But once again, make sure you really assess what you are doing in your life, what needs to be changed and what food and exercise plan will give that to you. WW works for me, but South Beach or counting calories with LIVESTRONG or Lose It! may work for you. Take your time to get to know yourself and some different plans, it will help immensely in the long run.

In other news I did a 5K Friday night, at 8pm, in the SWELTERING heat of the south and ran 1.5 MILES OF IT BABY!! Well, I jogged, or to other people I was maybe walking at a slighty faster pace than normal.... but to me I was greased lightning!! Super proud moment for me! Also Hayden is leaving for a 6 day camping trip today, so I am going to have a week of crafty goodness. Keep up with me at my other blog to see what I am up to!

2.1 Loss and an Art Journal Page

2011-07-15T11:35:00.000-05:00

The image in this post was my first attempt at Art Journaling on Photoshop (learn more about Art Journaling on my other blog). Its not my best digital work, but it I think it conveys my frustration with the weight loss process, and how slow it has been for me and how no matter how much I look, I have yet to look like what I want.

Good news is that I have movement in the right direction on the scale today. -2.1lbs gone, bringing me down to 245.5. A far cry from the numbers I pictured myself being this summer, and a bit disappointing when I think about to too much. I have been in the 240 range since May... but I gues sit is better than being in the 300+ range, whcih is where I would be now had I not done something about it. How is everyone else's weight loss going? And NSV to shares, vents to rant on? Post them in the comments.

*All page elements come from Fine Crafted Designs, Holliewood Studios, and Marta Van Eck, who can all be found at Deviant Scrap. I can't really tell what kits they each come from as I separate kits upon download.

Just a LITTLE Frustrating - Advice?

2011-06-27T07:58:00.000-05:00

So as I was writing the last little post, I realized, while looking over my dates to the side, that I hit the -25lbs mark last June, and since then I have been struggling to lose the next 25 for the -50lbs mark, FOR A YEAR. Wow, really?? I can't lose 25lbs in a year? I mean I acknowledge that I have had my off weeks, and that there were some weeks were I gained a little but of weight. Life happens, and sometimes you have to choose to enjoy the moment rather than worry about that extra hot dog. But I can't understand why I am still gaining and losing the same 10 lbs month after month. I don't know if it is the diet plan I am on, although WW seems to give me great loses the majority of the time, the fact that I am doing cardio 100% of the 5 hours a week I work out (which I am adding muscle back in Wednesday and Saturdays starting this week), my age (33) or what. I know there are no thyroid problems. I would really like to move into the next state of my career and life as close to goal as possible, but realizations like today are so discouraging!

Have any of you dealt with this? What did you do to power through a situation like this?

5K Training

2011-06-27T05:53:00.000-05:00

Just an update to say I am registered for a 5K at the end of next month. I should be running the majority of it and I am looking forward (well as forward as you can look to being sweaty, in pain and basically tortured). Running is not my favorite thing to do, but it burns awesome calories so I try to force myself to do it. Do any of you have any tips to make it easier, at at least less like torture? Or are you just a running person or not?

Hope to have a weight loss update soon!

Crafty Blog Goodness

2011-06-19T13:31:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone. After much thought I have decided to focus my attention over on my craft blog, and make this, my weight loss blog, more of a monthly post type thing. My weight loss has becomes so much of a part of my life now that I just can't get excited enough to blog about it, but I also want to keep the blog alive, so I am going to move to monthly postings.

So weight update. I am at 245.6 right now, having yo-yo'd for the past 2 months between 249- and 244. I think part of it was poor food choices, vacations followed by weeks of perfect food choices and perfect workouts. But I am still pleased with my progress. I am still working out 5 days a week, and Hayden and I are planning to do a 5K at the end of next month. I am looking forward to running a majority of it! I still find it hard ot believe I have stuck with my weight loss and exercise for 1.5 years. Before, sticking with it for 1.5 weeks was an accomplishment!

Anyhoo, I am off to spend some time in my craft room, but head over to my other blog, follow me there (PLEASE :)!) or pass it along to someone who it may interest! Have a lovely rest of June!!

Daddy Dearest - A Vent

2011-05-20T18:54:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how the man who formed the mental mess I am still putting back together can rear his ugly head and ruin my impending trip home. A little history: My dad is not my bio-dad. I found out when I was 13 that he adopted me soon after my parents married when I was three. The reason I never thought anything of it, is that I look like his side of the family more so than my mother, who is my biological parent. Life with this man was hell. He was controlling and abusive. I was constantly in fear of him, and never knew what would set anger off. (On the other hand, my mother is my best friend and I worship the ground she walks on. I love her with all my heart.) I have been out of the house since I was 19 and I still have nightmares of being trapped in that house again.

Fast forward, my dad and I, never the best of friends are now completely estranged. He disagrees with some personal choices I have made in my love life and what not and disowned me. To the point that my name is not spoken around him, my mom can only call me when he is gone, pictures of me are no longer out and I haven;t been home in 14 years. In fact in this years I have seen my mother 4 times when she came down here to see me. And every time she goes home I wonder will this be the time he finally gets so mad that she was with me that he hits her, or worse. As far as I know he has never raised a hand to her, but I put nothing past him.

So, now I plan on going up to NY in 2 days, something that I have been ecstatic from the time it was planned and paid for in January. I am going to stay with my BFF John and I am seeing my mother because she is going to her BFFs house, where I will be spending the night as well. Hayden and I have even been talking of moving to NY after I and he graduate. Of course today Mom calls and said could I put the kibosh on people mentioning my impending visit in the store where she works, we can't have it getting back to Dad and when I mention moving, her and I talk about it and I realize that I will forever live there with that man and the fear of him hanging over my head. Fear of him hurting my mom, myself, or other I love.

Now I am overcome with the fear that he will somehow find out I am up there and something will happen. And I realize I cannot be around him, even within 8 hours driving distance, ever again. Nor can I put my mom in danger of his anger of finding out I am in driving distance. I am still going up to NY this week, but I will not be moving there anytime soon, as much as it kills me to be away from John (the topic if our co-dependent, Will & Grace friendship is a completely OTHER post, lol). And I am going to have fun and try to forget the fucktard I have the unfortunate chance to call Dad doesn't exist. I also have to tell myself that if he does find out I was there and rage at my mother, she stays with him in spite of everything. I have to live my life to make myself happy, and for 11 years Hayden has made me happy, supported me, and loved me. And I can't give that up to make amends with a man who made my life a living hell. I am just so angry that he still finds a way to fuck everything up from 1200 miles away by simply being the close-minded bigot that he is. His presence casts a complete pall over my life and I am still dragging myself out of the cloud of poor self-esteem, hang-up's, issues and other things. I loathe him.

Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?

2011-05-13T15:45:00.000-05:00

Wow, its been one post in like 2 months. I read one some one's blog when a blogger disappears that means they fell of the wagon. I am happy to say, however, that was not the case with me. Granted I have been on a plateau for the past 2 months, fluctuating between 250-244, but I have been pretty damn good about keeping up my exercise routine (still 4-5 days of an hour of exercise, less if I am running). And pretty darn close to OP with my Weight Watchers. So, while the plateau has been frustrating, I am proud to say that I did not give up like the old me would have done and eat the first thing that passed in front of me. It really amazes me that I have been sticking to this routine for about a year and a half. This is completely unheard of for me. And, in NSV news, I bought new clothes for my vacation, the majority of them in the 16-18 range. When I started this is 12/2009 I was just about ready to buy a size 26 jean. It BLOWS my mind to see how different I look, I mean really. I am hoping to to a digital layout of progress pics over the summer and look forward to sharing them with you.

My last post had me sitting at 244.6, I am 244.5. Hey, a loss is a loss.

So what have been up to if I haven't been off the wagon? Well, I have been finishing up my second year of law school for the most part. My finals were all jammed together in one week so I had to study during the last few weeks of class along with doing the required class work, so that kept me busy. I have been crafting here and there, mostly doing jewelry, knitting and crocheting. Although this week I am stoked about making potholders and new place mats (totally geeky I know!). I have been reconnecting with my spirituality, and teaching Hayden about it as well. I think I just needed a break from blogging. I think it seemed like one more thing on my to do list, and naturally I rebelled.

This week I have the house to myself. Hayden is in FL with his sister and her wife, and will return next Saturday. The next day I leave for NY for a week. My first trip home since the day I rode the Greyhound out on March 10th, 1997. Unfortunately the only part of actual HOME I will see is my Mom. She is coming to her friends house to see me. While I would love to see my home town and the rest of my family, the fact that my idiotic, sometimes unpredictable and scary father has disowned me (for reasons I will not get into now, suffice it to say he hates that I am a grown woman who chooses how she lives her own life and that i don't seek his permission to fall in love with whom I fall in love with) keeps me away from my home town as I won't be the one dealing with his anger, my mom would, and I refuse to even chance that happening. It is enough that I will see her (only the 4th time I have seen her in 14 years. Remember to appreciate the time you have with your loved ones.)

I will also be scouting NY as a possible place to move again. Hayden and I are discussing it quite seriously as my BFF John is there, who I call my non-sexual husband (you would think we were one person in 2 bodies the way were are together, he and Hayden reaffirm my belief in reincarnation) and my Mom is there, and she isn't getting any younger.

Anchor, its time for me to make my doggie dinner. More on the trip to NY when I get back muffins!!

Remember, one day at a time, one healthy choice at a time!

Yep, Still Here

2011-04-25T12:52:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to say that I am, in fact, still here. The past month or so since my last post has been up and down with weight, basically involving losing and gaining the same 3 lbs over and over again. However I am back with a 2 week straight losing streak and a reinvestment in my weight loss goals. I am sitting at 244.6lbs. I think the last time I saw that number was in 2003 maybe. I should be back again in a couple weeks, my finals end the 7th and then I have 2 glorious weeks before I go home to NY for a visit. My first time home since I left on March 9th, 1997, yes I said, 1997. Its gonna be something to talk about.

So until then, keep keeping on!

Winner Winner

2011-03-20T07:55:00.000-05:00

Sorry I am late in posting this. I did something completely put of character and drove 4 hours away to Nashville to see a friend. To mist f you, thats no big thing, but for me thats huge. I am 33 and didn't earn to drive until I was 26 (long story). I am also one of those people who is scared of everything. New situations can be paralyzing to me, any sort of change in my routine is a nightmare for me. However, I also know that these fears, and a lot of others ones I have, are irrational, and therefore I force myself to face them. For example, becoming president of the student org I run, speaking in front of people, and now driving 4 hours alone to a big place with lots of traffic.

It was exhilarating! I had a blast with a super good guy friend of mine, had some me time, and my buddy bought me an IPAD! I mean how freaking cool is that!!!! What a great way to spend my spring break!

Anywho.... on to the contest. I put the numbers in to the RNG and I got 8! Sosanna please email me your mailing address at lafemmeknitkita@gmail.com and I will get your prize out next week. I hope to do my next giveaway right after finals end in a couple of months and hope to do either Amazon, Starbucks, or iTunes Gift Cards, stay tuned!!!

GIVEAWAY - 2 Days Left!!

2011-03-16T07:53:00.000-05:00

See my Giveaway post below and enter to win the Coffee Break Prize, entries are low so there are great chances to win. And even if you don't like coffee, enter for someone, or tell someone, who does! Thanks!

Coffee Break Blog Giveaway!

2011-03-14T07:21:00.000-05:00

So, as promised, here is my first giveaway for my blog. The prize is a handmade, reversible, fabric coffee sleeve made by me and a $5 Starbucks gift card. (I know, its not HUGE but I am a full time student!). So, here are the rules:

I will keep the contest open until Friday the 18th at 7pm. I will draw the winner by random number generator on Saturday and post the name on the blog. You have 3 days to claim your prize or I draw again.

You can enter up to four times:

1. Follow this blog and LEAVE A COMMENT on THIS post telling me you are a follower.

2. Follow my other blog and LEAVE A COMMENT on THIS post telling me you are a follower.

3. Follow my Facebook page and LEAVE A COMMENT on THIS post telling me you are a follower.

4. Blog OR Tweet about this post and LEAVE A COMMENT on THIS post telling me which you did.

Please comment on this post for each entry as I will use the comments when using the random number generator. Good luck!!

Quickie! 2.9lbs loss & Giveaway Next Week!

2011-03-06T20:47:00.000-06:00

Hello buttercups! Just a quick post before I got to bed. I lost a whopping 2.9lbs this week and it was on the new WW system. I am going to do the new WWs again this week, and if I lose again, then I take back what i said a couple post ago. Its not the WW plan, it was me losing to the NIBS.

And I have the Starbucks Gift Card and Coffee Sleeve ready to go, the giveaway will go live sometime next weekend. I have my big Symposium this Friday (TERROR!) and I will need a couple days to decompress from that, but it is coming! I am so excited about my first giveaway, and while its not a huge prize, I hope, much like at the Holidays, its the thought that counts!

See ya in a week!

Bleh I Was RIght & Giveaway News!

2011-03-01T08:10:00.000-06:00

Yep, a 2+ lb gain this past week. *sigh* But this was a new week, and new week, I am happy to say is without the cold/bug/virus that has been plaguing me all month. I feel almost back to my old self, besides some lingering allergies, and I even made it to the gym to run this morning. Plus I was able to get some crafting done over the weekend, the first I have done in almost 2 weeks, in the form of teaching myself the three basics crochet stitches and making a coaster. My goal this weekend, if I can, is to either break out my spinning, or crochet some more, I will just have to see how things go homework wise, plus NEXT Friday is the Legal Symposium I have spent ALL school year planning, so I might be a little too ambitious for my own good.

Eating wise, I think I have been doing pretty good. I am still eating more points over the weekend then I would like instead of stretching them out over the week, and I have had a pretty good reign on my Arch Nemesis, who this week takes the form of La Artiste de Pasterie Nibs (I made sugar free cupcakes, Mr. Nibs has multiple incarnations). So we will see what the scale says.

I will be hosting my first blog giveaway sometime in the next couple of weeks or so. I am going to be giving away a $5 Starbucks Gift Card and a handmade Coffee Sleeve by me (you can get an idea of what they look like in my Etsy store but the fabric will be different). Its not much, but its all I can do on my law student budget, and I thought a little something was better than a lot of nothing. :) I will be making the sleeve over the next week, and should get the gift card soon after. I am hoping to run the giveaway during spring break when I have some extra time.

Hows everyone else's week going?

Lost Mojo is Lost

2011-02-24T07:52:00.001-06:00

I have officially lost it, my mojo that is. I can not seem to get back on track, not do I have any energy or the will-power to do so. I gained a .5lb last week I think, and I am expecting the same tomorrow at at weigh-in. It seems that the willpower I had a year ago has went some where and I find more and more bad habits creeping in, in the form of my arch-nemisis Sir Walter NIBS. A little Nib here and a little Nib there, makes Sue a Fat Girl again. Plus, I have been SO tired I haven't been to the gym all week, but that was a conscious decision to give myself a break. I have to tell myself that when I ache all over and I feel so tired I can't move, then I need a break.

I also think I am going back to the original Weight Watcher's program (and saving myself 18 bucks a month). Granted it will take a tad more work on my part, manually figuring points, knowing that some times I am off on them usually on the over rather than under side, and having to tally everything myself with out the help of my super duper WW App. But, on the other hand, it worked consistently for me, the new plan has been hit or miss, even when I know I have followed everything to the T. The losses have been great when they have happened, nice numbers usually around 2-3, but I would rather have consistent losses that are low, then huge numbers once a month. I never lost my mojo on the old plan, it worked for me and it's less expensive, a win win situation! Plus I could estimate points when I was eating out, which helped me avoid the dreaded OMG THAT WAS HOW MANY POINTS when I got home and was able to track it.

Or I could have hit the dreaded plateau, in which case, changing my eating will be good for me anyway.

I have made a new weight loss log in my Bento for Mac program (which is love love love), and hopefully, will be able to get back to where I was a few months ago, commitment wise. I feel like I am in that shaky place where if I fall the wrong way, I will end up with the 40+ lbs I have lost right back on me, and I have already given away all my clothes.....

New Items in Etsy and ArtFire Shops!

2011-02-13T08:36:00.000-06:00

Just an FYI, 13" MacBook Pro Sleeves and Fabric bookmarks now in my shops, go on over and take a gander, or follow my other blog for shop updates!

Happy Valentines Day!

When NIBS Attack!!

2011-02-11T07:54:00.000-06:00

I gained .5lbs this week, and while I can say I was sick and it was the toast's fault (Damn you yummy buttered toast!!) I also have to admit I am falling into a worrisome area of weight loss. When you have been dieting/lifestyle changing/etc, for over a year, its becomes something you do with your brain half on. Even with the new point system on WW, I can still estimate points, not the the exact number I used to, but a general guess. I also know, since my day to day eating is the same for the most part, and I plan my meals out on grocery day (one the benefits of having to stick to a budget), I pretty much know what I can and can't have as the day goes along. But, *sigh* I have been guilty of what I call "The Nibs." This is a habit that got me to my almost 300lb starting weight over a year ago. This is a mini piece of candy while I am cooking dinner, a small cookie there while I am walking out the door to my car, an extra cup of coffee with creamer while sitting the ICEBOX that is our law school.

I would say that 90% percent of those little "nibs" are counted and figured into my points, but there is a 5-10% amount that slips down my throat but does not show up in my points counter, hence the struggle I have had with the SAME 3-4 lbs since Xmas. I can't let old habits creep in, or much like I did with smoking (almost 1.5 months SMOKE FREE) I will fall off the WW wagon as well. And really, I have come too damn far to screw up now. Well that, and I have given all my fatter clothes away. I have to re-commit so to speak, and not only start writing everything down 100% of the time, not 90%, but also really asses what is going into my mouth. I am officially on FULL NIBS ALERT!

Crafting wise/Store wise, I have made a couple of SALES! Hurrah, and I am still waiting to hear about selling in a local store. I had a snow day yesterday and I spent the entire day sewing MacBook Sleeves and Fabric bookmarks, and watch Drop Dead Diva. They will be in my shops this weekend.

Yesterday was my Shih-Tzu's 7th birthday, so in honor is his posi-lutely perfectness, here is a pic of him in his rain slicker. SKWEEEEEEE!

Good News/Bad News

2011-02-09T16:14:00.000-06:00

Bad News: I am sick AGAIN. I have eaten a few points over my weekly alotment due to the fact that I need hot tea and toast when I am sick. I am pitiful, pity me :(. I am sick of struggling with the 246-249lbs range I am stuck in, but I am sick, so toast with hot tea is more important. Pity, Pity, Pity.

Good News: A local shop may want to sell my crafts..... I am just thrilled!! That would allow me more money for my craft habit (and tea.... and toast).

Yipee!!

2011-02-04T07:44:00.000-06:00

What an eventful week. As I posted last night my Etsy and ArtFire shops are up and open, along with my Facebook page. Getting them there was quite enjoyable, and I am pretty proud of the few items I have in there. My other little business ventures were fun, but this one really takes the cake since I know I personally made all the items I am selling.

Plus I had a lovely weigh-in that showed a 2.2 loss AND as of tomorrow (or Sunday) I will have completely week 4 of the couch to 5k program. I am still running at the gym and ignoring the skinnys.

Current Weight: 246.9
Loss: -2.2
Fat lbs: 95.9
Fat % - 39.9
BMI: See ticker

I am definitely feeling good about my weight loss lately, even with that pound I gained over the last few weeks while quitting smoking. More and more people are noticing my body changing, and I think I am moving into the next lower jean size. But, I have to say, its getting frustrating picking out clothes each day. I get a few weeks were I feel like everything fits me, and then all of a sudden I feel like a bag lady again. I hate buying clothes every month or so only to have them unusable a month or two later. I am looking forward to when I get down a few more sizes and I can shop in non-fat stores and utilize more of their clearance racks. Skinny people clothes are just more affordable, maybe because they use less fabric, who knows. I even skipped buying a suit for a wedding next week because i know when I need the damn thing again in a month, its not going to fit.

How do you guys deal with this besides hiding in the house in all your too-big, shapeless, clothes?

My Etsy and ArtFire Shops are Open!!

2011-02-03T19:49:00.000-06:00

If you are interested my my Etsy or ArtFire shops, please visit my Facebook Page and navitgate there through the tabs across the top, or visit my other blog!! Let me know what you think!

Finally, A Loss

2011-01-28T06:43:00.001-06:00

Hello popkins, and good morning.... There that was it for my morning cheeriness, now I can go back sharpening my knives.

I jest, really. Well, kind of, I am really not the most, shall we say, personable, person in the morning. But I woke up to a -.7lbs loss, bringing me back down to 249.1 lbs. I still haven't lost the couple pounds I gained over the past 2 weeks, but its a good start. And considering we have made it almost a MONTH smoke free I am not going to kick myself about it.

I missed two workouts this week because I am half sick with something or other. I mean I am just sick enough to really piss you off, but not so sick it warrants soup, bed, and rest. My head is stuffy, I keep running a small fever on and off, and and I feel so drained that all I want to do is sleep. But, I have firmly told myself that tomorrow I am doing my normal hour workout unless I am exponentially worse than what I am today. Besides, my guilt for missing workouts is eating at me.

Other than being out of the gym this week, I am pretty sure I was OP all week. I didn't feel the need to nibble like I have the past two weeks, so maybe this attempt at quitting smoking will go better than all the rest, and I am back to my healthy eating habits sooner than I I expected.

I have been doing my best to reach for something healthy when the urge to nibble hits, and have been helping myself out more by keeping my temptations out of the house (and if they are here, out of my sight).

Other than my new business venture work and the scarf I am knitting, my craftiness is at a minimum this week. I am trying to get the scarf done so I can start working on learning how to spin! And, I am hoping I can take Sunday to make a few things to get my Etsy shop up and running, I will keep you updated.

Anyone got fun plans this weekend?

And Now for Something Completely Different - A New Blog!

2011-01-27T07:26:00.000-06:00

So, I have a new blog. Don't worry intrepid Fat Fighters, I shall not be leaving this one. I have, to possibly bring some money in (at least to support my craft habit, which is better, I think, then a meth habit, or banging people in the head with large sticks habit), decided to open up a small handcrafting shop on both ArtFire and Etsy (links will be provided when they go live). Right now they are not open, I am still mulling over designs, setting everything up bit by bit and just enjoying the process. I just figured, since this has been, primarily, a blog about weight loss, and the followers who do kindly follow me, are here for that, I would keep my business stuff on a separate blog (well, and I wanted to try out WordPress as well, which I think flows with Etsy better.)

So, this blog is not going ANYWHERE, but if you would like to leave encouraging comments on my other blog from time to time, I will not mind :)

Oh and I am on Twitter as LaFemmeKnitkita, mostly crafting related posts, just FYI.

See you this weekend for the weight update post! Which, BTW, will hopefully be a negative since I am on track for points, AND sick! :)

Another Gain sigh

2011-01-23T12:21:00.000-06:00

Well, another week, another gain, but luckily only .4lbs. Hayden and I had our belated Xmas dinner with some friends we never get to see where the wine flowed freely (down my throat) and there was Symphony Brownies and Mac 'n Cheese. After all that, I will take a mere .4lbs and be glad for it. This week has started perfectly however ever with me being on track points wise and the .4lbs already gone, so I am optimistic for the next weigh in.

3 weeks tomorrow smoke free! :)

I am back at the gym and feeling blasé about it. While the gym is a great all-female gym, it is populated with women (at least at 6am when I am there) who eat, sleep, and breathe fitness. I am always battling with myself to just get in there, workout and forget about them. I always feel like everyone is looking at me and laughing, like "OMG look at the size of her!!" However, I am making small strides. I am actually doing my Couch to 5K plan on my iPhone every day even though I want to crawl into the floor every time those thin chicks look at me while I am running. But I do it, because it's got to be done, and because I feel a little more confident every time I do it.

Craft wise this was an exciting weekend. The town where I go to school had a fiber arts festival where I picked up some fiber and a drop spindle so I can teach myself how to spin my own yarn. I am super excited! See pic of the fiber and spindle below (the brown is practice fiber, and the orange and purple are to make actual, usable, yarn out of.) Plus I ordered a spinning book on Amazon today, I should have it Wednesday!

Plus I went to the yarn store that was sponsoring the festival and bought some GORGEOUS yarn for my mom's Xmas present (the Cranberry skien) and a double knit scarf for Hayden (the Pumpkin and Green). Plus you can see out gorgeous new bed set which features a lovely tan background with dandelion poofs in deep purple, brown and white. Its LOVELY!! I am currently learning how to double knit (tutorial I am using here) on a scarf for a friend of mine, see pic 3, and Hayden likes it so much he wants his own. Double knitting is knitting something so there is a different color on each side, but is still a one piece scarf. My scarf for a friend is black on one side, grey on the other, with the pic showing the grey side. An enjoyable project so far.

School is going right along. SO far the classes are decent, of not boring, and my favorite law school buds are in there (Shout out to Boo Kitty), and I have a lot of time to read between classes, lessening my actual Home work time and giving me more Highly Important F*cking Off Time. The Symposium is coming along swimmingly and I am trying to ignore the fact I am going to have to speak in front of people. I will worry about that tomorrow though. Right now I am going to fix a few outlines and go play with some beads. TTFN

Blah, A Gain

2011-01-15T14:47:00.000-06:00

So, I gained .6lbs this week. I know that I went over my points this week. But, I am not overly concerned. I was still transitioning off the nicotine gum and patches, so I was a little more munchy than I am normally. However, I looked at it as I would rather have an extra bowl of Cheerios than cave and buy a pack of smokes. Plus it was the first week of school so it was a little more stressful than normally. Short post today as I am right in the middle of knitting a hat and watching Project Runway Season 6, so I am out of here :)

New Year, New Title

2011-01-10T08:29:00.000-06:00

The new title is actual the name of my old law school related blog that died sometime within my 1L year. Going to law school and then blogging about it was a bore. However, I think the name is still apt for this blog as well (Well, that and its one of my favorite phrases from RHPS). As people find about my new hobbies they look at me all askance and then, 9 times out of 10, make a Martha Stewart reference, or they say "You just don't seem like the type."

Honestly I don't get it. I am a fiercely independent woman with a loud, if sometimes foul, mouth and, had I been around in the 50's, would have been referred to as a "Broad." I think 50s vintage pinup girls are the epitome of hotness and feminine sexiness, I have a loud personality, a loud mouth, and a f*ck 'em attitude. I favor bold, bright prints, leopard prints, chunky black jewelry and shoes, and dramatic makeup. But this means I also can't enjoy donning an apron and baking a batch of cookies or sewing said apron? I can't enjoy cleaning the house, knitting a scarf or some other creative type thing. I guess I never saw my personality facets as being opposite from one another. Yes, I am a "Unconventional" woman in many respects, but I also enjoy "conventional" things, not because they are expected of women, but because I enjoy doing them, and when no longer enjoy them, I will no longer do them.

Plus, I am no longer defined by my weight. My weight and loss thereof, has become just another project I am working on, and no longer is the sole focus of my life. I am not Fatty Fatty Bo Batty anymore. I am finding new pieces of me under all of this weight, and its great.

FYI, 1 week smoke free!

Now, I am off to clean the house and knit a hat!

.... But Not Yet

2011-01-09T21:13:00.000-06:00

It's not ending! Due to a freak snow storm (that has people here in the South scrambling like it's the end times, and me, as a native NYer, laughing to watch them) school is canceled. That means I have one more law free day as long as no demonic professors decide to email assignments. I plan on doing the last few little things I didn't get done over break, getting the house all spanky neat as to make it the most conducive to homework, and finishing season 8 of Project Runway.

I think all of this will finally give me the mental clean slate I need to tackle the next few months of Symposiums, classes and finals. This semester is going to be a challenge. Lets hope I come out the other side with some beautiful creations, some great legal contacts, and a solid GPA.

And So it Ends....

2011-01-07T08:42:00.000-06:00

Today marks the end of my three week, free wheeling, creative spree. The deathbringer of creativity, the spawn from the most ancient, most horrible bowels of hell, the great and almighty slayer of the personality, law school, starts again Monday. Gone are days of Warcraft, sewing, knitting, and making jewelry while watching Project Runway (WHY WASN"T I TOLD OF THE SHEER GREATNESS of this show?). Back are the days of 70 hour weeks full of Symposium planning, cases, papers and projects, and a 2 hour daily commute. I need to get some podcasts on my iPhone STAT. My numbers this week:

Current Weight: 248.8 lbs ~*~ OMG, I am under the 250 mark. I weigh the least I have weighed in over 5 years, FIVE YEARS!!
Loss: -1.7 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 97.4
Fat % - 39.2
BMI: See ticker

Days w/o a cigarette: 4

I think that the WW Points Plus change has been for the best. I seem to be fuller longer, even more aware of what I am eating, and so on. I really like it, and overall, have been happy with the weight loss I have seen over the past month. The only change I have made is to set the WW options for my activity points earned to be usable only on the day earned, and it seems to be working.

Crafting has been a joy this past break. I have gotten all the projects done that I wanted to. I made late presents for my 3 law school BFFs, made 4 scarves, and a sewing machine cover. It came out a little bigger than expected, but that is because I am horrid at math. I also made a laptop sleeve that came out perfect (sheer luck) and a new necklace, earrings and bracelet set. Now, it is time for me to start on Hayden's hat, Piggy's (my shih tzu) new knit toy, and a few other projects I hope to work on as the semester allows. I feel like I am busting with ideas and love everything I make. It feels like a piece of my brain that has been dead has finally woken back up!

Pictures from top to bottom: My sewing machine cover, my jewelry set and my laptop sleeve.

What are you guys up to?

The Required Look Back - -40lbs, New Interests and Rising Anxiety

2010-12-31T08:48:00.000-06:00

Not only has 2010 come to a close, but as of December 22, a full year of my new healthy outlook has passed. Since most of you do not know me well, a year of me sticking to anything is an accomplishment for me. I usually give up on most things within 3 months, and the longest I have every been able to change over my eating habits is 6 months tops. Add in the fact I am consistently exercising 5 days a week, and honestly I am flabbergasted.

Exercise has always been my most hated part about health. I hoped that sometime over my quest to become healthier I would be one of those people who actually LIKE exercise... so much for that. I still hate it 90% of the time, the other 10%, pure apathy. But I have to admit I like the after effects of it, the sense of accomplishment of actually doing it (every morning I have to fight to voice that tells me I can skip one workout.... EVERY morning), the way the weight loss is looking different than the few times I lost weight without exercising, etc.

The healthy eating hasn't been, once I just did it, a big adjustment. It really was removing my weaknesses from the house (oreo's, fun fruits) and just being mindful of what I eat. I listen to podcasts when I drive to school, and one by Dietgrrl and Miz Fit made an excellent point. Miz Fit said something along the lines of it is unrealistic to think that we would never ever eat crap food again, but we should ask ourselves "Is what I am about to eat putting me closer to my weight loss/health goals?" I do that all the time, the majority of the time the answer is yes, the food fits within my points allowance, I am almost dead on with portion control, etc. However, sometimes the answer is no, I mindfully decide to eat a normal sized portion of the offending crap food, savor it, and make sure all my other food choices give me a "yes" answer to the above question. Its practice for the day I hit goal and shut my WW account off, because I am not paying those people $18/month forever! :)

I also have begun to indulge my interests over the past year, well past few months honestly. Up until now my hobbies have been books and video games, both fun, but nothing satisfied my urge to create. Before law school I wrote and was published a few times. But the never-ending outlines, notes and papers have effectively killed my desire to write when I don't have to, in fact during my break my school (as evidenced by my disappearance from this blog, facebook, my phone) I basically shut down and hibernate just to get to the point where I can start a new semester without screaming. But I have to say I am loving knitting and sewing. They focus a different part of your brain and while I am doing them, or learning new skills, I can't worry about law school, money, my relationship, my dog, or the 500 other things that have made it so that I have not slept a normal, restful sleep since school ended. I am also learning crocheting and jewelry making now, and loving it all. It feels so good to create something whether it comes out the way I expected or not. And it feels great to finally learn things I have wanted to learn since I was a kid.

One last thing I have noticed over the past year is my increasing anxiety over everything, the one thing I am not happy with from 2010. I worry about EVERYTHING, irrationally, all the time. My dog gets a new bump (he has skin problems) and I am convinced its cancer, we splurge a little bit more than we should with money (like we did last night in hobby lobby - 50% off jewelry making!! Can I be blamed??) and I am awake half the night thinking that we are going to lose the house, cars and live in a box because I will never be able to open my own law office, never get a job offer and have to work as a fry cook at Burger King while trying to pay off 1 million dollars in student loan debt. Things are going really well for Hayden and I in our relationship, but I am waiting for the day when they are not again instead of enjoying where we are. The Law Symposium I have planned (while moving forward really well and is starting to get national recognition) is going to fail miserable, I am going to faint from mortification when i get on stage to speak, and no one is going to show up and the school is going to be left holding the bag of bills, and everything is going to fall apart on me within the next year. I know ALL of these thoughts are IRRATIONAL and silly, but they keep me from sleeping, make it a bitch to quit smoking (Quit effort number 7 begins Monday, goddess help me), and give me panic attacks. I can't get on pills because I don't want to report it to the bar, and the idea of seeing a therapist, while enticing, makes me feel silly. I mean, I am paying someone to give a damn about my issues. I have been in therapy before, and it didn't help, nor did anyone give a damn. I don't want to end up like my grandmother who took anxiety pills and never slept more than 2 nights a week because she couldn't calm down......

Wow, this ended up being a long winded post, I have half a mind to delete it and start over, but I wrote it so it must mean it needs to go out there in space...

And as for the weight loss? I am sitting at 250.5, leaving 2010 and 40lbs behind me.

M goals for this year: Get a handle on my anxiety, its got to stop. Keep on keeping on with my weight loss, I am doing great!! QUIT SMOKING! Enjoy life, make time for myself, Hayden, my crafts and remember that everything always happens the way it is supposed to. I will look back on this post next year as a law school graduate with some great job opportunities and say... See you worried for nothing.... or I won't be able to read it at all because I sold my computer to eat and I am living in a van down by the river.....

Blah...

2010-12-10T07:30:00.000-06:00

Blah, only a -.1 lbs loss this week. But I guess a loss is a loss, hopefully it is just my body getting used to the new program, but I have to say I am little disappointed after the 2.3 loss last week. Oh well, back to studying!

OOOOO Crafty Crafty!

2010-12-09T08:46:00.000-06:00

So after my second final Tuesday morning I took the rest of the day (and yesterday) off to finish my sewing Xmas presents. They aren't the prettiest things, but I am learning as I go. The big things were supposed to be towels, but they came out more like padded pillow cases. I made them for my mom, and I figure she can use them for something.... or get a good laugh, one of the two. The cuffs are coffee cup cozies made for my BFF John and his friend Christine. I got the pattern here. And the third pic is a scarf I made for John. I have a few more scarf projects to do, and then I think I can move on with the lessons from my Stitch n' Bitch book. I am already looking forward to next Xmas when I have a little more experience under my belt and some time to actually plan some crafty Xmas pressies.

Fabric Giveaway for Anyone that Sews

2010-12-05T11:37:00.000-06:00

Awesome fabric giveaway over Sew Quine Stitches! So if you sew, head over there and check it out!

2.3 Loss and Victory!

2010-12-03T07:01:00.000-06:00

*Warning! I am posting without coffee. Please be aware there may be babbling sentences, typos, and other assorted grammatical mistakes. Proceed at your own risk.*

Just a very quick post to say that I am liking the new WW plan. It focuses on protein, carbs, fat and fiber, rather than the old way of figuring points by the ratio of fat/fiber/calories. They have made fruit point free (which doesn't do a lot for me as I only eat apples), upped everyones points for both dailies, weeklies and activity. Honestly though, you are eating more. Almost 100% of the food has changed point values, so I am really don't see a change in my eating, other than this will move me further away from processed food, which I want. Anyhoo, numbers:

Current Weight: 253.0 lbs
Loss: -2.3 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 99.7 ~*~ Less than 100 lbs of body fat!! HURRAH! VICTORY!
Fat % - 39.5
BMI: See ticker

I am at my lowest weight, as of right now, in 5ish years. In 2006/2007 I went on WW the first time. I remember the lowest weight I got to was 255/256, so I am thrilled with todays weigh in. Hopefully the new WW will give my metabolism even more of a jump start, and keep building on the healthy eating habits I have acquired over the past year.

Project wise: I just cast on for a ribbed scarf last night (I am making 2 in different colors, one each for Hayden's sister and her wife) and I have plans to make my mother's tea towels and some coffee cozies out of the ADORABLE fabric remnants and clearance buttons I got overt the weekend. Those have to get done Tuesday, so they can be sent out before Xmas clogs the postal works. My projects for Xmas break are a sewing machine cover, a sleeve for my Mac, and some type of organization device for double pointed knitting needles. I also hope to get past the beginner lessons on knitting and move on to possibly hats or something more advanced than scarfs. I am looking forward to all of this so much! Finals end 2 weeks from today!!

.4 Loss, I'll Take It!

2010-11-28T20:50:00.000-06:00

Hello! Just a quick note as finals time is fully upon me. I lost .4 lbs this week, even after Thanksgiving, so I am thankful for that. This is my last week of class and my finals start one week from tomorrow. That coupled with some craftiness I need to get done in time to give Xmas gifts (who knew sewing and knitting could be so handy) means I am going to be even more scarce than usual. But I should be back with project photos, weight loss updates and my thoughts on the complete overhaul Weight Watchers is giving it's plan tomorrow, within a couple weeks.

Till then!!

A Small Gain and a POLL!!!

2010-11-19T07:41:00.000-06:00

Current weight: 255.7

Ok, so I gained .7lbs. I expected to, we spent last Thursday through Saturday at our friends house in Nashville were drinks, good food and good times were had. Points, while I still watched portion size and amounts, were not counted. Then school this week had 3 events where the law schools stapes of pizza and chicken nuggets were served.... I am mostly pleased to see that the gain wasn't more. It tells me that I am learning healthy eating and it has become ingrained in me. I count that as a win.

Running is still on hiatus as my ankle is still bothering me. The pain has moved out of my arch and now is on the outside of the foot spread through my toes and the wide section of my foot. So, for right now I am walk 3 miles, 5 days a week instead of running two, five days a week. Plus I hope to get back in the gym and use their weight machines 2 a week once finals end. I enjoy my outside walks to much to give up but I can make use of the gym in other ways.

Nashville was GORGEOUS! Hayden and I can definitely see ourselves living up there. The mountains and country side reminded me of Upstate NY so much, I felt completely at peace up there...hell even the people were nice!

Another exciting development is that I am teaching myself knitting. I have knit two scarves (pics below) and have just designed, and plan on starting on my third tonight... hopefully. I love it, it is so relaxing and cathartic. It gives me a creative outlet that writing used to give me, especially now that law school has killed me desire to write anything longer than a blog post. But in addition to knitting, I have also bought the necessary supplies to teach myself how to sew.... I am so excited to be learning two things I have wanted to learn since I was little. I will try not to let this blog become about knitting/sewing. I am thinking about making a second one just for that, but with how little time I have to update this one, I wonder how I will handle two of them. Especially next semester when I have a major Symposium happening, a organization to run and 5 classes, 2 of them writing intensive... UGH.

What do you guys think... separate blog? Or have a weight loss/knitting/sewing/whatever other crafts I decide to try blog? I know! I will use the poll feature much like my bud Blogging Boo Kitty does!

Well I am off to post the poll and start what is supposed to be Thanksgiving break, which for me means cleaning, studying, working out, and organizing a craft storage area. And, hopefully finding sometimes to work on my new obsessions! I haven't been this excited about anything since I started school 8 years ago.

What are you guys doing this week?

Progress Pic

2010-11-06T06:05:00.000-05:00

Here is a recent pic of me 35lbs lighter! Huzzah!

2 weeks, 2 losses

2010-11-05T10:38:00.001-05:00

Hello! Once again, the impending threat of finals month makes my sporadic posting even more sporadic. *sigh* This will most likely continue until mid-December when I have a few weeks off between semesters and the only thing I will have to occupy my time will be knitting and Warcraft.

BTW, I lost .3lbs last week, but here is this week:

Current Weight: 255.2 lbs
Loss: -.8 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 102
Fat % - 40% ~*~ the fat lbs and % seem kind of wonky but since I weighed at 5am, all I trust is my weight lol.
BMI: See ticker

I honestly didn't expect a loss this week at all. I have been sticking to walking this week (and it looks like next week as well) as I am having issues with my ankle, last Friday was my 10 year anniversary (Italian food FTW), and Sunday we had a potluck at the house where I had beer, brownies and other assorted yums, and 2 events at school had me eating lovely pizza (but in normal portion sizes!). But I guess that the healthy eating that has become almost second nature to me once again made those indulgences possible. Its nice to know that I can do that, eat a little outside of my point-zone and not go overboard, or chuck the whole weeks diet plan. I try to plan my meals out per day, and take in to account any other weird meal times throughout the week when planning. I guess its starting to pay off. The losses are small yes, but they are still losses!

In other news, I am officially obsessed with knitting.... anyone else knit (waves to Meg)? I am finding it to be exactly the relaxing hobby I was hoping it would be. Plus it comes with the added bonus of allowing me to have a physical object in my hands that I created! Very satisfying. Well I am off. I promised myself I would take a lunch break from homework and allow myself to peruse knitting sites. Tomorrow I take my MPRE and then I might go visit a yarn store in the next town (I am spying as I am thinking about opening my own store after law school. Always good to have an alternate plan in this legal economy!).

10 Months Strong and Back With a 1.3 Loss

2010-10-22T08:17:00.000-05:00

I know, I know... I have been MIA lately. School, the symposium I am planning and life in general has kept me being the candle at both ends. But as you can see from my picture my MacBook Pro came in and I got a custom leopard print decal to go on it. A little tacky, yes, but it is so totally me. I love the computer, I love the decal and I love the fact its unique. For those that are wondering I got the decal from Vinyl Soul on Etsy .com. (My new obsession and its partly to blame for my current attempt at learning how to knit!)

Weight wise, for for disclosure on my last two weeks, I actually ended gaining .5lbs (.3 one week, .2 the last week). I blame stress and poor eating choices the night before weigh-ins since my points were actually on track both those weeks. Plus, I think sometimes your body just does what ever the hell it wants to do, you know?

Current Weight: 256.3 lbs
Loss: -1.3 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 101.9 ~*~ Down -1.2 pounds.
Fat % - 49.8% ~*~ -.2%
BMI: See ticker

Very happy with the results this week. I still have not met my goal of getting weight/strength training in to my workout schedule. Right now I am doing good if I find an hour a day that is not homework related. I am also going to try to alternate my running and walking. Over the ast two weeks I alternated one week of walking (appx 3-4mph) 5 times a week, and one week of running (appx 4ish mph) 5 times a week. My running times have gotten stronger and other than a pronounced pain in my ankle, I feel better when I run. I am learning that even though you have to push yourself to always try a little harder each workout, that variety is good for you mentally and physically, and its ok to give yourself a break now and then.

Also, today is the 10 month anniversary of me starting this whole thing. Since December 22nd I have:

Lost 33.7lbs
Stuck to a diet/exercise plan even when I gained weight and wanted to chuck it
Got to the point where I can run 2 miles
Went from NEVER working out, to working out 5 days a week
Made healthy living a habit, one that allows for occasional indulgences
Cut down to only smoking on the weekends (New Years Resolution is to quit)

I am super proud of myself and will keep repeating my achievements to myself as I am out there running around the track at the park.

What is motivating you right now?

Up Down Up Down

2010-10-08T11:12:00.000-05:00

So, no big numbers post this week, and last week I forgot completely. Suffice to say last week I lost .8lbs, this week I gained .3lbs. I am not to pissed about it, I think I may have let a few calories slip by my rigid point counting... no biggie. I exercised all week, running anyway. I have yet to hit the goal of also working in 3 strength training session with my 5 running, but I have been crazy busy and just happy to be still sticking with my running in the midst of everything I have going on.

I am still finding the happy medium with the running. I am doing between 2 and 2.5 miles 5 days a week, but I feel like it is getting harder instead of easier. Plus, I am still experiencing weird breakthrough bleeding. So I have to take a few days off here and there until it stops. Its very frustrating right now because I feel like after a few months of running I should be getting stronger, faster and enjoy it more. As it is, I feel slower, weaker and still hate every second of it. (Until I finish, then I feel confident and accomplished, that's the part I LIKE.) Since I know no other fatty that runs, I have none to ask how I know if I am pushing my big butt to hard, or not warming up sufficiently, etc. Any suggestions would be awesome.

On an exciting note, tons of stuff is coming together for me. I am making contacts through the pro bono research I am doing, my legal symposium is falling together, and I was able to get the financial aid for my new MacBook!!

How is everyone else doing out there in cyberverse.........

1.2 Loss and a NSV!!!

2010-09-24T18:20:00.000-05:00

First victory? ACTUALLY POSTING on the right day. Super proud of myself! The actual NSV? Wearing a shirt that I bought 3 years ago because I couldn't bear to leave without it. It is a 3/4 sleeve, empire waisted tunic shirt in a soft antique cream color, that has the most gorgeous fall colored floral print, think deep purples, soft greens, autumn browns. I love that shirt. It has sat in my closet since the day I got it because it was to tight around my muffiny waist. But yesterday, I put it one and felt lovely. The only thing that sucks is in 2 months it will be too big....

Current Weight: 257.9 lbs
Loss: -1.2 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 103.1 ~*~ Down -.4 pounds.
Fat % - 40.0
BMI: See ticker

I actually think I might be a little lighter than the scale said because it is always different (in the negative more) at 9am rather than 6am, don't ask me why, but I am sticking with 257.9 this week.

I really need to start strength training again, but I already run 5 days a week (and refuse to change that). I think I will just have to bite the bullet and find 2 - 30 minute time frames to do it in so I can stop losing muscle (evidenced by my wonky fat lbs loss to overall lbs loss ratio). That will be one of my goals for the last week of this month and October: to do 30 mins of strength, arm focused as my legs are getting theirs from running, and to be back up to 3 miles per run. I know I ran 3 miles a few weeks ago, but I had to go back to alternating 2 and 2.5 mile runs because I really over exerted myself. My legs were hurting so bad I wasn't sleeping, I felt drained, and just lethargic, so I turned it down a notch, and made alternating between 2.5 and three miles Octobers goal.

It was really hard for me to admit that 3 was just too much for me right now. I have this mental thing that once I go so far in my workout once, I have to do NO less, only more, the next time or I suck and fail at life. I am a perfectionist, a Type A Virgo, and my harshest critic. Great for my legal career, terrible for everything else. But, no sleep for a week really showed me to start listening to my body more and maybe set more realistic goals for myself. I have learned how to take a gain without falling off the wagon. I think realism in my exercise was my next lesson.

What have you had to teach yourself?

BTW, have an iPhone? Like to run? Check out Runmeter, my new BFF!! I love this app!

2.8lb loss!! Happy birthday to me!! LONG Post

2010-09-17T10:01:00.000-05:00

Wow, what a month so far. Since getting back from Miami I have been getting caught up on school, which I have finally. And, since I am President of our law school's OUTlaw chapter, and I have been planning a day long legal symposium/CLE class for attorney's statewide, I have spent the 2 weeks going to functions, having meetings, and contacting speakers, on top of my class schedule, homework and my daily two hour commute. Needless to say, there are days where I am doing school/planning related activities 16 hours a day. I have even been getting up at 5am just to get in my run before my day even starts. The new me has officially scared the old me into hiding.

Anyhoo, here are my weekly numbers (and since I didn't have time to post last weekend, I will disclose that i gained .3 lbs because we had to go to a party the night before weigh in and some cheddar cheese from a party platter tackled me and forced its way into my mouth.... rat bastards):

Current Weight: 259.1 lbs
Loss: -2.8 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 103.5 ~*~ Down -1.5 pounds
Fat % - 40.0
BMI: See ticker

I HIT MY 10% GOAL. I have officially lost more than 10% of my starting weight! Hurrah. I fought hard for this achievement!

I even had a loss with my birthday weekend, even though we went out to a local Italian place, and I had a couple cheese sticks, a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and a tiramisu. I planned for it, counted every point and enjoyed every bite.

My birthday was wonderful in case you were wondering. It was Monday (I am 33 now.) but we celebrated it Saturday. I took the day off from running because my body was aching so bad I wasn't sleeping, so I gave it break. Hubster made me breakfast and we went out to lunch and then to Resident Evil Afterlife 3D. Awesomesauce! Just a FYI, I am NOT a typical girl. I am uber-feminine, but I adore action movies (gun fights, explosions and violence? I'm there!), loathe 99% of chick flicks, and love techie stuff and video games (I play World of Warcraft almost every day school permitting). So how, pray tell, does a birthday get better than that?? Well, by getting the COOLEST birthday present EVER, an IPHONE 4. I have been lusting after iphones since they came out since I am such a junkie for pretty, shiny techie stuff (my new lust is a MacBook). But they have always been a little out of our 2 full time students budget. We were due for an upgrade and I had almost deicided to splurge and get the old iphone 3G, but somehow, hubster and the sales person pulled a fast one on me and I got the 4, plus a supercool bundle of accessories that included the care plan and a 50 dollar itunes gift card. Somehow Hubster worked it into our budget and I didn't even know it!

Never in my life have I seen a more handy device. I have found apps that help me in EVERY SINGLE aspect of my life. Apps for studying, document editing, running, weight loss, healthy cooking.... the list goes on and on.

And finally to top it all off, the legal symposium is putting me in contact with very prominent people in the field of law I wish to practice in... and hopefully will set me up with a job sometime down the road. The only glitch that could derail the whole thing is funding it. But, the alumni I met in Miami (who gave me the idea) said he will help me find money, so i am going to continue planning and move forward with the faith that if it is meant to be, it will come together. Although if it falls apart I will admit I will be crushed, completely crushed. I am putting tons of time, and my soul into this project. Everyone keep their fingers crossed for me!

The only downer, from all the stress I am still picking up a pack a smokes about once a week.... But I am not going to kick myself for it. I am doing the best I can, and sometimes I will slip, whether it is with smokes, or an oreo. One day at a time.....

Arrgh!!

2010-09-16T06:40:00.000-05:00

***** runs into the room, laptop cord and papers flying behind me

I am still here everyone, first few weeks of the semester has killing me. I have literally been working from the time I get out of bed, to the time I go to bed all week. I should be back Saturday to tell you about my Birthday weekend and how the weight is going!

runs back out of the room, frantically scribbling and looking terribly important******

I DID IT!!

2010-09-06T10:05:00.001-05:00

Last December I couldn't run more than 10 secs at a time, and then only a few intervals of 10 secs. I wanted to be able to run because I have never ever been able to my entire life.

Last Spring Hubster, Me and my BFF Tiff participated in a 10K (which Hubster ran and Tiffy walked with me) and a 5K (which I walked and Tiffy and Husbter ran). As I watched them run off, and I watched people bigger than me run/job by, I was ashamed of my inability to run and I promised myself by the end of the Fall 2010, our current, semester I would be able to run 3 miles and I would run my first 5k this coming spring.

Things have changed.

I ran 3 miles today, reaching my goal 3 months early. My first 5K that I run will take place Oct 23(?) at our local mall. I may come in dead last but I will have ran it. And that means so much to the girl who dreaded gym class because the gym teacher made fun of her for not being able to run.

My new goal? There is a 10K (6.2 miles) in the beginning of May. I will run at least 5 miles, of not all, of it. My plan? Keep working on those 3 miles for the next 6 weeks, getting stronger and faster in them. November begins the climb to 6 miles in May.

Wish me luck.

I'm Back! with a 1.6 Loss!!

2010-09-03T14:52:00.000-05:00

First off let me say that Miami was an awesome experience. I made some awesome contacts, a couple of which I think will pay off big over the next few years, and much to Hubsters joy, as he puts it "pulled the stick outta my ass and had some fun." He thinks just because I am a type-A personality, career focused, workaholic I never have fun :) But the better news is that since my last weight in 2 weeks ago, I still lost weight and was able to splurge a bit in Miami. Here is the numbers:

Current Weight: 261.6 lbs
Loss: -1.6 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 104.8 ~*~ Down -1.7 pounds, so that hopefully means I did gain some muscle!
Fat % - 40.1
BMI: See ticker

I am quite proud of myself for handling my food choices well in Miami. Did I eat some things that weren't healthy? Hell yes, and they were delicious, and I don't regret any of it. I also ate things that were healthy, being careful to make good choices 80% of the time so i could have that brownie I wanted, or that cocktail (or 10, they LOVE to get the law students liquored up for free lol! I drank more in 5 days than I have had in 2 years). And while I didn't exercise per se, I did walk everywhere and got right back on the horse running when I got home. Right now I am at 2.5 miles in the morning. I hope to crank it up to 3 miles Saturday or Sunday morning. The 5K I WILL run is the 3rd week of October.

Plans for Labor Day anyone? I have a metric ton of things to do so Hubster and I are staying close to home. next weekend is my Birthday!! Italian food and the new Resident Evil movie here I come!

NSV ~ New Jeans

2010-08-24T18:19:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post as I am packing to leave in the morning. But I wanted to tell everyone that I bought my first pair of 20 jeans in over 2 years. I went shopping Saturday and actually bought a pair of 22s because I had just order what purported to be size 20 jeans off of ebay. I wanted them to be in my closet so i could try them on periodically to assess my ass-ets so to speak. They were too tight so I just picked up some 22s that seemed to fit right and came home. Well, I must have been retaining water or something because they were huge today, to the point where I felt like I was wearing clown pants. Hubster was nice enough to stop by and grab some 20s because I was curious about them and how they would fit. Well they fit!! When I started this in December I was about 10lbs away from hitting size 26, now I am in 20's. I feel pretty good about it, and I have those almost new ebay jeans, which I think are a 18(?) waiting for me. The 22's I wore 3 times.... going on ebay with a mess of other 22/24 shirts and jeans when I get home. If anyone wants me to let them know when it lists, leave a comment!

Off to Miami!

Yes I am Fat, but I have a Right to Be Here Too

2010-08-23T07:24:00.000-05:00

Yup, this is going to be an exciting week. Today starts the trek downward in law school. I have exactly FOUR semesters left. This fall, spring, summer and next fall. Its exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. One, I will finally (as long as I pass the bar) be an attorney. Something I have been working towards for 10 years. Two, if I keep up my excellent work on my health I should be at goal. But three, I will have to find a job. For almost 10 years I have had the security of financial aid, but now, not only will I have to start paying that back unless I work public interest, I will have to find a job to sup-port myself, my doggie, and if things continue to go well with Hubster and I, him through school as he has me throughout our relationship. And I leave for a 5 day Bar Conference trip on Wednesday. I know the majority, if not all my excercise will come from walking those days, and I except that. But goddess grant me the strength to eat as well as I can, keep my alcohol intake (which is close to nil anyway) very very little and keep my lips of the smokes. I have made it three weeks without one, I really want that month mile stone.

But anyhoo....

Current Weight: 263.2 lbs
Loss: -1.5 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 106.5 ~*~
Fat % - 40.5
BMI: See ticker

I think my loss this past week might have been better had I not gotten TOM the next day.

I am up to running 2.5 miles now and can see, actually see myself, running that 5K in October. I may be the last runner across the line, but it will be such a huge moment for me. Some friends from law school might even be running with me and Hubster!

I was out running this morning and for the first time since I started exercising in December, I felt like I had a right to be there, running, exercising, and I didn't feel like a fraud. In that book I wrote about, Dietgirl, she talks about how she always felt like she had to explain herself when she bought exercise stuff. I do the same thing. I always feel like the sales people (or, if exercising, the other exercisers) are looking at me like "WTF is the fattie doing here? Does she know you actually have to WORKOUT to use this stuff, not sit on it eating donuts???" I always feel like I say acknowledge the fact I am big, but explain that I know that's BAD and I am trying to be good. I think ti comes from the fact we are made to feel like we are bad for being fat. But today was different, I was out running in the park and all the other runners who have been doing this for months were all running by me at various speeds telling me how awesome I was, giving me thumbs up and so on. I wasn't embarrassed when people passed me. I just kept chugging along at my pace, just proud of the fact that I WAS RUNNING, and semi-liking it, lol. I am not going to be embarrassed any more. Yes, I am big, yes I am changing it but its because I am doing it for me and my health, not because I am BAD for being fat. I will no longer explain myself to epople who look at me like I am crazy when I ask about running shoes or when I walk back into the gym after my 5K training is over. I have a right to be here, and a right to be proud of my health associated accomplishments!

Btw, I bought a super effing cute sweater for fall the other day. Pics when the heat wave is over :) But I will say that I got some new clothes for Miami and for the first time in about a year I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. Plus I cleaned out my closet and have a HUGE HUGE HUGE pile of stuff that is too big for me now. Half is eBay, half is goodwill. My closet looks totally empty now!

So, no posts maybe for about a week and a half!! Keep up the good work and see you next week!

RUNNING .....Late Again

2010-08-16T17:29:00.000-05:00

Hello blog buddies! Seems like every time I get more time to post, I actually have less!!

Current Weight: 264.7 lbs
Loss: -1.1 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 107.4~*~ I do believe the loss was water weight
Fat % - 40.6
BMI: See ticker

So whats going on in my world right now. Well, after 2 weeks off from school I can say for as busy as I felt I accomplished NADA work/school wise. Classes start one week from today so I have to spend this week getting everything ready for classes, everything ready for the organization I am president of, and everything ready for me and 2 other members of said org to go to MIAMI next week for a Bar meeting and Career Fair (all on the schools dime I might add). UGH (in a fun, type-a, Virgo kind of way)!

I am also up to running 2 miles 5 days a week. And since I have been out of school I have been doing the Biggest Loser Yoga DVD.

First with the running, I am having a love/hate relationship with it. I HATE it when I am sweating, huffing and moving at an embarrassingly slow pace. I LOVE it when I am done, and I love the way the weight has been (seemingly) flying off me this week because of it. But we will see if that holds true on weigh-in day, which, btw, has changed to Friday because I have a lot of engagements on Friday nights. I am taking a break from the gym to focus on running 5 days a week as I am hoping to run my first 5K at the end of October. Wish me luck!

And for those of you who think you can't run, I am here to tell you that you can. In December I weighed 290lbs and could only run 10 seconds at a time. Now, even at 260+lbs I am running 2 miles. Yes, I stop here and there to catch my breath, giving myself 10 second walking breaks as needed. And yes I run slower that molasses, but I am doing it, and the accomplishment feels FRIGGING AWESOME. So my advice, start with running 10 secs, walking 5 mins, running 10 secs, for 30 mins, and then slowly bring it up to 30 secs, 1 minute, 2 minutes. Find a 1/4 track when you are up to 3 mins, run a 1/4 mile, walk a 1/4 mile. It took me 7 months to get to 2 miles, even with my 5-10 sec stops at every 1/4 mile. But the point is I set goals, and I accomplished them. Don't compare yourself to others, or think that you should do more, do what YOU can, and then push just a little tiny bit harder each time. You will be amazed at what you can do! And this advice goes for any type of excercise if running isn't your thing. Pick something you want to do or achieve and take those first, even small, steps to achieve it!

As for BL yoga, I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. I love the stretching that yoga involves but hated all the airy, lets all breathe and meditate crap that goes with it. Well let me tell you, BL Yoga burns baby, you FEEL your muscles toning, getting stronger, and getting tighter. After 30 mins my legs were shaking and I had broken a sweat. I will be doing this for a long time!

Whats new wit'cho?

OMG BODYBUGG GIVEAWAY FROM KYOKO!!!

2010-08-07T14:24:00.000-05:00

I hate to share this with other people cause all it does it ruin my chances, lol :)

But Kyoko over at her blog is giving away a BODYBUGG!! I mean who doesn't want one of these delightful little weight loss gadgets. All the charts and numbers totally turns my inner geek on and I salivate at the thought of winning that bad boy.

So good luck to everyone else who enters.... but I still hope I win!!!

And even if you don't want the Bugg (nutso) follow her blog anyway!

Take This Diet and Shove It - But Not My NSV

2010-08-07T11:20:00.000-05:00

So I was all excited last week, I was 2.5lbs away from one of my mini-goals, my 10% lost milestone. I was going to try and loose that this week, by watching my points super carefully and working out.... Well it didn't happen, i actually GAINED the 2.5lbs I wanted to LOSE!! FMWW!!

*throws self to the ground, kicking, screaming, and generally throwing a fit* While I do that, here are the numbers.

Current Weight: 265.8 lbs
Loss: +2.4 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 107.1~*~
Fat % - 40.7
BMI: See ticker

So, now I have to ask why this week sucked. Possibilities:

We are trying to quit smoking AGAIN. 4 days without a smoke, but honestly we smoke so sporadically anyway, about 1 pack every 4-5 days, that I really think this has very little, if anything to do with it.
I took it easy workout wise this week. I have been experiencing breakthrough bleeding (light menstrual bleeding for 2-4 hours after intense cardio and strength workouts) for a few weeks and wanted to give myself a break to see if lightening my exercise helped. It did, but I also feel like my body needs to get used to intense cardio and what not because I want to be a runner dammit! If it doesn't stop soon I am going to a doctor. Anyone else have this, especially anyone else with other endometreosis symptoms?
I think I mis-figured the points to the protein smoothie I made this week after every walk, meaning I could have ingested appx 12 more points then I thought.
I have been eating all my weekly points by Monday night, and then using a few of my activity points each night thereafter, thereby giving my metabolism uneven days. This week I did not. Every week I have done that, I have lost. This week I don't, and mis-figure some points, and I gain.

But today starts a new week. NSV for the week. I RAN A MILE AND A HALF BABY!!! Now that takes the sting away from those 2.5lbs. Anyone else have some awesome news to report??

Diet Girl Rocks!

2010-08-06T16:46:00.000-05:00

It just seems like no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to blog more than my weekly weigh in. My excuse this week? My hubster was off on vacation as well and he sucked all the intelligent thoughts straight out of my head.

I did just read a great book though. Some of you may have heard of it.....The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl. (She still blogs too!) For one it is written by a girl appx my height and a little bit heavier than me. Two it was set it Australia and Scotland. I was sold. I loved seeing her go from timid, always hiding to someone who was healthy because she lives healthy. She stopped worrying about calories,points, and ways to stay out of anything that may draw attention to her. Now she lives, loves and sees herself as she truly is. I am not there yet but I see that mental state coming. Already I have more confidence and self love (not loathe). I work to get through each day acknowledging there will be slip ups along the way with both my eating and my smoking.
It was nice reading my own struggles, self hating thoughts and fatty maneuvers on the page and seeing one person overcome them. I will reread this book a million times, hopefully seeing my own journey continue with hers on the page.

Anyone have any other book recommendations?

Week 31 Weigh In

2010-07-31T14:52:00.000-05:00

Wow, 31 weeks down. It truly doesn't feel that long. Although its nice to look back and know how far I have come, not only weight loss wise, but being more aware of my health and the choices I make concerning it. Here are the numbers!

Current Weight: 263.4 lbs
Loss: -1 lbs ~*~ From last week
Fat lbs: 105.8~*~ Down -1.3 lbs!
Fat % - 39%
BMI: See ticker

Very pleased with my actual losses over the past weeks. They have been challenging with all the stuff (including finals, out of town guests and going away parties) I have had going on. Hopefully this week, since we are on our at home stay-cation, I will be able to lower the amount of points I am eating and hit my 10% loss goal. I am 2.4lbs away :)

I am still having issue with my cycle and post workout bleeding. Hopefully I will be talking to a doctor about it this week. Its becoming more annoying than anything.

Now, as to the heart rate monitor I got..... I was not impressed. I used it 2 days and the damn thing would not take a heart rate reading more than 1 out of any 5 times I tried to take one. I also found the calories burned, speed and distance to be wrong both times I used it. While it was a good idea, I guess you get what you pay for. I might try a more high tech version this fall when money isn't so tight. I wish I could get a Body Bug, but its price plus online subscription fee is a bit spendy. Any suggestions from people that have used heart rate monitors? I would love to get something that would tell me when I was in my target zone without having to stop and take it myself.

Slooooow Down!

2010-07-25T08:03:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted, but I have been busy busy busy. The semester is winding down at school so that means I have a final coming up, this Thursday actually. Plus last weekend we had a going away party for my friend Tiff, and this weekend we had a friend stay at the house.

Weight wise I gained .1 lbs last week, and lost.5lbs this week. With all the craziness going on I ma more than happy with that. I got a watch heart rate monitor I want to tell you guys about this weekend. School will be over and Hayden will be gone all day Saturday... so just give me a few more days and I will be posting again!

Weigh In Suprise

2010-07-11T12:37:00.000-05:00

Wow, I expected little to no movement down on the scale this week. I ate all of my weekly points, all of my activity points and I even suspect there were about 5ish, maybe more, points that slipped past my lips. I what I call a nibble week, where small pieces of granola and a few nuts, chips or other things fell into my mouth at random times. I usually have these about once every two months so I don't beat myself up over them too bad.

Current Weight: 264.8 lbs
Loss: -2.6 lbs ~*~ I hit and received my 25lb loss milestone star!!! :)
Fat lbs: 107.1~*~ Down -1.2 lbs! I don't know where the other weight loss came from, I am not losing muscle, maybe it's water?
Fat % - 39.2% ~*~ Down -.4% from last week
BMI: See ticker

That's all for now, I have a ton of homework to do and want to be able to spend time with hubster. We have been focusing on our relationship and doing things together, and I think it is going very well :). We aren't out of the woods yet, but I think I keep catching glimpses of the tree line :)

What's everyone else doing this week?

Run, Don't Walk

2010-07-04T21:55:00.000-05:00

If you have a Whole Foods within driving distance, go go go to their bulk section and get their granola. I got bulk granola in Maple. Pumpkin Spice, Ginger Snap and Low Fat Apple Cinnamon. Hubster and I made wheat pancakes this morning and I sprinkled 1/3c of Apple granola over them. OMG it was WONDERFUL. I also mix it in my Yopliat, my vanilla FF SF pudding, sprinkled over the tbsp of Peanut Butter I put on my green apples... I plan on trying it as cereal next. I honestly would roll around in the stuff if I could. I can't believe its something both healthy and yummy at the same time, and I never knew about it. A definite staple to aid in keeping you full longer, and sweet enough to feel like an indulgence.

Weigh In - Week 28 (Wow)

2010-07-03T07:31:00.000-05:00

Wow, this is my 28th week on plan. With the exception of 2 overages back in January that I knew was going to happen and accepted, and 2 weeks ago when I took a break from tracking, I have been OP all other weeks. AND I have kept to a workout schedule with the exception of my mental heal week last week. I have never, ever made it this long, especially with all the weight related up's and downs I have stuck to it. I am very proud of myself, the old me would have given up a long time ago.

Current Weight: 267.4 lbs
Loss: -.6 lbs ~*~ Not huge, but look below, I lost 1.3lbs of fat, and that makes me very happy!
Fat lbs: 108.7~*~ Down -1.3 lbs, I think I was able to replace some of the muscle I have lost over the past few weeks!
Fat % - 39.6% ~*~ Down -.5% from last week
BMI: See ticker

So I am pleased, losses all around. I really think joining WW online is helping me see where and how much I am eating, and help me keep even better track of things. Well I am off for my walk in the park with the hubster and then we are driving to Memphis to hit up Whole Foods and Panera bread :) Have a safe and happy holiday!

Isn't it Always Something

2010-06-28T09:54:00.000-05:00

So I woke up Saturday with a sore back, something I attributed to sleeping funny since hubster was gone all weekend and our dog, being the needy shih tzu he is, had to sleep as close to me as he could possibly get. I figured it would straighten out as the day went so I did a new cardio workout (that involved running and 200(!!) stride jumps among other things) and then did some yoga to stretch my muscles. By Saturday afternoon I could barely stand up. Sunday morning was even worse so I skipped the workout. Today its the same, I am walking bent at an angle, my hamstrings and glutes are sore from the jumps and trying to hold my body at a weird angle to ease the pain in my back, so no workout today either.

I have noticed, these past two days especially, that I feel awful mentally if I don't workout. I feel guilty and my irrational brain feels the pounds flying back on to me. My workouts have morphed into something that I don't want to do into something that I enjoyed, into something I have to do to feel like I am worth something. My negative self-talk is only silenced when I know I have worked out that day, or if its a day I allow myself to take off from working out, usually Tuesday and Thursday. But if I miss a normal workout day I am feel like I am failing myself and that each day I miss, even if it's because of a good reason, like the fact I am walking like an 80 yr old.

Does anyone else have this obsessive issue with working out, or any other part of changing you lifestyle? What do you do about?

Finally!

2010-06-26T09:59:00.000-05:00

Finally the scale is starting to move in the right direction again. I joined WW.com last Saturday because, for the life of me I couldn't figure out WHY I was struggling so hard every week to eat right and I was killing myself in the gym only so show gain after gain. Well.... come to find out I was mis-figuring my points here and there, and letting a couple others slip through the cracks, sometimes as eating 10-15 more points a week then I thought I was. I was not pleased to say the least. So I have 3 months of WW paid for, we will re-evaluate keeping it in September depending on weight loss success and money at the time. The online program has been given a major overhaul though and I LOVE LOVE LOVE the new features. Here are the numbers:

Current Weight: 268.0 lbs
Loss: -2,9 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 110 ~*~ Up .3 lbs from 2 weeks ago, I think my lack of focus on muscle work has contributed to this. I usually have to make a choice between cardio and muscle during the week due to time.
Fat % - 41.1% ~*~ Again, I really need to start finding time for muscle toning in my schedule.
BMI: See ticker

Hubster is at his sister and her wife's house for the weekend so it's just me and the Pig (our shih tzu). Its a much needed break for both of us, although I miss him, lol. My plans for the weekend are to get caught up on Bar applications and get everything ready to start back to class on Thursday. Workout wise I think I ma going to take a little easy today. Probably just 30 mins of cardio, as opposed to 60, and some yoga for muscle toning and stretching. My back and my hamstrings are bothering me, so I think some yoga would do me some good.

What is going on with everyone else this summer?

A Gain but Positive :)

2010-06-20T11:19:00.000-05:00

Well I gained 1.3 lbs this week, but I am not upset about it. My week was literally so busy from Wednesday till today that for the first time in 6 months I didn't track and missed 2 gyms . I still feel like I ate well, choosing portion control and healthy food picks to make up for it. But I needed that break, my body was sore, rebelling and I was mentally/emotionally exhausted with everything. I feel a lot better now. I got in a nice 80 min workout this morning, I got some cool stuff at Whole Foods yesterday, and joined WW Online yesterday. I had been just doing it by myself with my at home materials, but I think my points calculation had been messed up. SO I joined for 3 months to see if that changes my weight loss progression.

Mentally I am more positive as well. I know that the scale is not the ONLY indicator of my success. I was telling a BFF of mine that I feel like I am meeting a whole new person, Me 2.0 so to speak. I am more aware of my health, my body, and a new burgeoning confidence coming from within. I feel like not only can I survive it no matter what happens with my relationship, my career, and my life, I can face it. I feel like I deserve to be happy, and I will be no matter what. I know I will still have down days, less than stellar numbers on the scale sometimes... but I can't wait to see what, who and where I will be in a couple of years. I am gonna be awesome :)

I Don't Even Know

2010-06-16T17:40:00.000-05:00

Busy Busy Busy here. Law School in the summer with one class and 3 afternoons of volunteer work is keeping me busier than I was during the entire spring semester with 5 classes. I feel like I can't even catch my breath!!

All I will say about last week is somehow I gained 1.5lbs. I truly don't know what the HELL is going on with my body. I am working out 5-6 days a week, 1-1.5hrs each time. I am tracking EVERYTHING that goes in my mouth whether I like it or not, and I am CONSISTENTLY on plan, and I GAIN?? Honestly... I feel like I am constantly running into a brick wall over and over again, yet each time expecting padding to be there. Plus, my body is acting wonky. I have endometreosis (sp?) symptoms (never been formally diagnosed as I have yet to find a doctor who takes me seriously. I am a top third of my class law student, doc. What pray tell am I trying to squeeze out of the health care system, hmm?) and while the daily cramps went away for a while, they are back with a vengeance, along with abnormal light bleeding. Lol, I quit smoking, I work out and eat right, and I get daily cramping every day, sudden bleeding, a stalled weight loss, and frustration.

Sorry about the negative post, as you know I am usually pretty positive. Today I am feeling discouraged about my weight loss and my relationship (which I won't even go into, suffice to say, men need a brick up side the head sometimes right?). I hate these days where I feel less than my normal, optimistic self. Hopefully tomorrow I will be back to normal, and hopefully the scale will move down instead of up....

(What really pisses me off is the first time I did WW I never worked out and lost 2-4lbs a week.... now I am sweating my ass off and dealing with constantly achy muscles and I have lost appx 20lbs in SIX MONTHS. grr...)

Nice! A 4lbs Loss and a Mile Ran!

2010-05-29T18:49:00.000-05:00

Good week this week!

Current Weight: 269.7 lbs
Loss: -4.1 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 109.9 ~*~ Down -2.4 lbs from last week, I think it's water flux as it was TOM
Fat % - 39.9% ~*~
BMI: See ticker - I am OUTTA the 40's!

I did WW this week, after having very little movement with calorie counting. I don't think the calorie counting was a bad choice, in fact, I think it was what knocked me off the plateau I was on. I will definitely do another two week calorie counting plan when I sputter out on WW again. I really think changing up my routine both workout and calorie wise jump started my lackadaisical metabolism.

I also changed my workouts from at home to back to the gym. I am currently dong an hour cardio M-W-F that includes 10-20 min intervals varying incline/resistance between the elliptical and treadmill. My body seems to like it. Also I am toning it down on the weights, focusing on toning rather that building up my free weight amount. I am following my cardio with 20 mins of total and targeted toning exercises. I am tall and big boned, and I don't want to look like a linebacker in eyeliner, lol. We still walk on the weekends.....

In fact... I RAN A MILE TODAY!! :) And my feet hurt, lol. Gonna try and run some more tomorrow.

I still have some personal issues going on but I am not quite ready to put them out in the blog-o-sphere yet. But soon I will post about them because I would love your feedback.

What is everyone doing this weekend. Hubster and I are having a little mini BBQ for just us and painting the living room :)

Staying the Same

2010-05-23T19:10:00.001-05:00

Just a super quick post tonight. My weigh in numbers are exactly the same from last week, EXACTLY. Not something I am thrilled about about. I am discouraged, frustrated and two steps away from saying screw it, lol. But I won't. I will keep tracking my food, working out this week and see what happens. I have to focus on how I feel, how I fit into my clothes and not numbers on the scale. But its hard my friends, truly hard sometimes.

Day Late and a Dollar Short

2010-05-16T14:58:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the late post. I had some personal things come up this weekend (which I will go into on a later date, when I have had time to process them) and they have made me blah about blogging. But here are the completely boring numbers:

Current Weight: 273.8 lbs
Loss: -.1 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 112.3 ~*~
Fat % - 40.5% ~*~
BMI: See ticker

I ma looking at it as any loss is good. I am on my second week of using the LiveStrong.com calorie counting system. I feel like I am eating way more that I should even though I am consistently coming in under or at calorie goal. But I also think that might be one of the reason my losses are less than stellar. I am super active now and I just don't think I was eating enough on WW, so I am going to try this one more week and then see where I am at loss/diet wise on Saturday.

We got a 5K (once again I am walking, although I might throw a light jog in there for good measure depending how the ankle I sprained this past week is feeling) at the park this coming Saturday, very cool.

Thanks for the comment on my last post Sue, nice to know I am not the only one having to try new things!

Frustration

2010-05-13T20:55:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, I am frustrated with the way my weight loss is going. I mean, I am honestly at wits end. I have faithfully followed WW (except for a couple weeks were I went over in points, and have the gains to show for it) and am working out on avg 6hours, sometimes more, a week.... and my weight loss is little to none, or even gains. I have tried to stay positive on my blog, looking at all the physical changes I see and ignoring the numbers on the scale. But honestly, less than 20lbs in almost 6 months? The old me keeps asking myself why in the hell I ma getting up so early to work my ass off in the gym or at home, staying sore all the time and watching everything I eat so I can step on the scale and see such crap (except for that crazy -3.9lbs loss) losses every week. The rational part of me knows that I am changing for the better, but it helps your commitment lvl when you see pay offs.

I watch other people have great losses, seeing true changes in their progress pics, and I feel just as fat as I did at Xmas.... lol, I feel like Micheal on the Biggest Loser when he had his little melt down.

In an effort to change things up I have stopped doing WW for 2 weeks and am tracking Calories on LiveStrong.com. They have me eating more than WW does, but I am wondering if thats why my body is hoarding fat. I am going to give it until next week's weigh in and see if I see better progress. Any suggestions would be welcome....

On a good note, we just smoked out last cigarette. Third time trying to quit..... wish us luck!

No Loss on 10K Day but Still a Win!

2010-05-08T13:44:00.000-05:00

No loss this week. I knew that last weeks almost 4lb loss was too good to be true! But, I actually think it is due to muscle gain and some female stuff :)

Current Weight: 273.9 lbs
Loss: +.9 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 112.4 ~*~
Fat % - 40.6% ~*~
BMI: See ticker

I am not upset about this at all. I added more weights to my strength training, going up one set on the weight bench and adding the next hand weight set up on non-bench exercises. I truly think that the gain has more to do with that than anything. It just shows that while EA Active is wonderful for once a week strength and great cardio, I really need my hand weights and bench or I lose muscle. Plus my workouts are messing with my cycle and endometriosis, so I think part of that is water as well.

But some good things this week: I, me, the 273 lbs woman, did a 10K today. Granted I walked it (hubster ran 4 of the 6.2 miles, go baby!!) but I finished it and am walking another 5K in two weeks. I have to say, for someone that already walks 4 miles each weekend morning, 6 miles kicked my ass. My shins feel like they are made out of lead, but I have my medal on the mirror in my car for a little while to remind myself of my achievement. Another is that I did kick it up a weight level in strength training. I am back down to 12 reps only and have to work back up to 20, but I can see and feel the results. And finally, thank the powers that be, I am done with exams. Goodbye 1L, hello 2L year. I am going to enjoy my few weeks off!! I have an end of year party to go to tonight and hopefully this week hubster and I are going to go hiking and catch the new Nightmare on Elm Street.

What are you guys doing this weekend?

WOWSER Weigh In! & Questions for Any Old Health Pro's

2010-05-01T18:41:00.000-05:00

My weigh in today surpassed expectations and needless to say I am a little suspicious of it..... But here is the numbers first!

Current Weight: 273.0 lbs
Loss: -3.9 lbs ~*~ Hit my 5% loss goal, my biggest loss so far
Fat lbs: 112.1 ~*~ Down -2.4 lbs from last week
Fat % - 40.4% ~*~ Down -.6% from last week
BMI: See ticker

So, while I am thrilled about hitting 5% loss and a nice big number on the scale, I am wondering what happened to bring it about. Granted I have kicked up the cardio a lot with adding some intense, sweaty step aerobics, I have added more running (in small intervals, 10 times at 1 min each today, trying for same tomorrow!) to my workouts and have been able to keep on my 6 day per week schedule. Maybe my metabolism is finally catching up to my activity level and healthier eating?!

So those are the positive things that could have brought this about...

But I have some not so positive things too.

It could just be water weight loss (which would explain scale number v fat lbs loss number) from TOM leaving. Also, I didn't use the weight bench this week, opting to use different muscles with a resistance band and EA active strength exercise, so possibly some muscle loss (I hope not!). And, worst of all, I am still smoking at least 4 days (about 5 cigs a day) per week, so that could be putting a very small rev to my metabolism (a heavy smoker burns 200 extra calories smoking, that's one of the reasons you gain when quitting if you don't exercise). I doubt it could make that much if a difference as I am working out consistently and intensely, but its something I have to take into consideration.

In other news we have picked our quit day for smoking for 1 week from Wednesday (after finals end), lets hope third time is a charm. Please pray, think of us, light some incense, whatever you choose :) AND we are doing a 10K next week, walking it, but its a start!! Looking forward to it. 6 month ago I couldn't walk a mile, much less 6 nor run for 10 seconds, much less a minute or a full 1/4 mile. I am proud, very proud. BTW, this week made 5 months straight as active and healthy!! A never ever before seen milestone for me. I have never made it to 6 months with eating well and exercising. I might make it this time, 4 weeks to go!

I have never actually followed WW this long and I have NEVER EVER been as active as I am now.... for those of you who have been doing this longer, is it normal to have a large loss once in a while like this? Is it a good thing? or am I losing muscle or something, in which case I would rather have smaller losses with muscle gain.

Mini Goal Achieved!

2010-04-28T17:50:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to let everyone know I achieved a mini goal today. Today was a final at 9am so I couldn't do my normal 45mins cardio/30mins strength in the morning so hubster and went to the local park to do our 4 mile walk. So I decided I was going to try to run at least a 1/4 mile straight and I did it, 3 times. I had to stop in the middle of each one for about 5 secs to catch my breath, but I completed a 1/4 mile with walking a 1/2 mile in between 3 times. So my workout today was 3.25 miles of walking mixed with 1/4 mile of running. My calves burn, the soles of my feet are on fire, but it was such a sense of accomplishment for me. Its these little things that keep me going everyday.

Plus, my hubster, who is also working on getting slimmer and healthier, ran 1.5 miles. Good job baby!! We will be running that 5K side by side next spring!

Fighting the Good Fight

2010-04-26T22:21:00.001-05:00

One exam is over, 3 hours of spewing contract law on to the paper has wiped me clean of coherent thought. Next exam is Wednesday where I get to wax poetic on the random theories of different types of legal theory *yawn*. But the end is near, and I have stayed on plan both eating and workout wise. Plus hubster and I have committed to putting down the smokes (3rd time might be a charm) in 2 weeks when finals are over and we have time to relax some. Wish us luck :)

I am making myself some no pudge brownies tomorrow.... pop some cool whip on those babies and it is love. Hope you all are having a good week!

Weigh In ~ Meh

2010-04-24T08:19:00.000-05:00

No loss this week, but TOM started so I can almost guarantee that is why. So, not something I can really be pissed about when I know the loss will be reflected next week. Plus around Wednesday I had already lost a pound, so I know the weigh-in this week would have been good barring the extenuating circumstances. Honestly with the massive stress from finals and everything else, I am just happy with basically staying where I was. Next week I should hit my 5% loss goal!!

Current Weight: 276.9 lbs
Loss: +.4 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 114.5 ~*~ Up +.2lbs from last week
Fat % - 41.5% ~*~ Up +.1% from last week
BMI: See ticker

So, not a huge gain. Just water for the most part, it will be gone next week. I know I had a great week exercise wise, Saturday and Sunday we walked 4 miles (Saturday even had running intervals interspersed though the walk), Mon/Wednesday/Fri I did 45 mins cardio/30mins strength and Tuesday I did some yoga and strength exercises on my Wii Fit. Quite proud of this considering 8 months ago it was a chore to find the time to do something 20 mins a day. Plus, mu eating was on track (although I might have not eaten quite enough this week, I will a little high on left over points) even with some yummy splurges (cupcakes, I planned for them, ate them and ENJOYED them!). Well its raining and wet and we are under a tornado watch, perfectly matches my mood cuz I am grumpy, crampy and achy, lol. I am going for a walk in the woods. See you in Oz!

Ditching, Opinions Welcome

2010-04-21T06:26:00.000-05:00

You know when you wake up and you have ZERO interest in the workout thats looking you dead in the eyes? Well thats me today. My body aches head to toe from the stress of finals and the fact I am still getting used to the extra time/intensity I had added to my workouts. Not like OMG i can't move ache, just a low achey feeling all over. The old me would have said screw it and stayed home for an extra hour of Warcraft before class. But I am going today, like it or not. But I was wondering, do you guys ever give yourself permission just to skip it once in a while? I am terrified that if I give myself permission to skip just once, its will be even easier next time... and pretty soon I will be back to my old computer chair only habits..... what do you guys think?

Stress Is Trying to De-rail Me .... But It Won't!

2010-04-20T10:51:00.000-05:00

Stress.... and buckets of it (of course I will make the disclaimer that as a Type A personality, routine based law geek, any sort of stress is hard for me to handle if coming from multiple sources)

Our fence goes into our neighbors land by 5 feet... it has to be moved, we don't have the time right now to move it (thank god they are nice about it! They just moved in and we all found out at the same time) or the money to rebuild it if it can't simply be moved. however, they think it can be moved and have offered to help, yay for nice people!
I need $2,500 worth of dental work done that I have to put on a Care Credit card, adding to out monthly bills.... not something we can't do, just adding to our (relatively) small, non-school debt, amount of debt stresses me out
Finals are approaching. If you don't know what these are like, here it is. You learn law all semester for each class through reading court opinions and discussion in class. You take said learning and condense it down to a 30page outline. You are responsible for knowing EVERYTHING on said outline and being prepared to apply it on the 4 hour long essay final. You have 4-5 of these a semester all within 2 weeks.... after wards you are so brain fried its actually worrisome to have to drive. I am usually so out of it, I barely answer my phone until a week after finals.
Not so much stress, but disappointment. I didn't get a job I REALLY wanted. We could have used the extra money.... I have a feeling I lost it more because of my lack of sorority sister looks and I am 32 rather than 26.... I could be wrong, I hope I am.

But even with this, and my leaning on smoking every few days, I am happy to report that I am still eating healthy (even though all I want is PIZZA for the love of GOD) and sticking to my workout routine. This too shall pass, and I will be stronger for it :) Hows everyone else's week going?

Weigh In! ~*~ Week 16!!

2010-04-17T10:21:00.000-05:00

Much better this week, although I am still stumped as to why.... here's the numbers!

Current Weight: 276.5 lbs
Loss: -2.9 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 114.3 ~*~ Down -2.6lbs from last week
Fat % - 41.4% ~*~ Down -.5% from last week
BMI: See ticker

Very happy with this week. I have been continuously OP and found it becoming second nature to me to pick healthier foods and to understand the mix of eating my faves once in a while in moderation. There are still days I struggle, stress makes me crave my form of comfort food, i.e. pizza and anything covered in sauce with cake to follow. But I am usually able to refrain, or find a healthier alternative that still feeds my craving (hubster and I have tweaked our homemade pizza from a total of 40pts down to a total of 24pts for the whole thing!)

i have added 15 mins to my cardio workouts, alternating treadmill/elliptical at the gym some days, and step aerobics and running with the EA Active others. Plus today we added a lap at the park, bringing it to 4 miles each morning on the weekends. Plus, and this is something I am so proud of today, for 2 of the miles I ran a minute at each 1/4 mile post, total of 8 minutes. This is huge for me and I feel great about it. 2 months ago I was lucky to do 4 intervals of 30 secs. My goal is to, by the end of the summer, to run a full 1/4 mile, walk the next, run 1/4 mile etc, for all four mile laps

Well I have a metric ton of studying to do, so I am out of here. hope everyone has an AWESOME week!

FYI, Finals will be over on May 6th. After that I plan to post more over the summer, and get my belated Bento Box and EA Active More Workouts reveiw posted. I will say this, to those of you using the original Active, More Workouts is DEFINITELY worth the money. I love it!!

Just What I Needed - New Motivation

2010-04-14T12:05:00.000-05:00

I have to admit, I have felt myself coming up against a wall at my 4 month mark.... 4-6 month seems to be the usual breaking point for me when making a huge lifestyle change. 2 cases in point: my first time around doing WW, I lost 40ish lbs and was OP perfectly for 4 months. Then I caved and it was another 2 years before I went at it again, and 2 hubby and I quit smoking last summer, and now we are smoking a pack about once a week... *le sigh*

So, my commitment to the gym has ended. I now can go as little or as much as I want. I have noticed myself not pushing myself as hard as I was 2 months ago exercise wise, challenging myself and pushing forward to a new level of fitness every few weeks, allowing myself to quit 3 mins early, skip an exercise here and there, all foreshadowing of a cave-in. My eating has been OP, but to me, thats the easy part, I just don't eat when I have used up my daily allotment of points, no prob. My prob is moving or making sure I make exercise a priority during law school.

But, this past week I was elected president of the law schools OUTlaw chapter and am going, with 2 others, on an expense paid trip to a bar association meeting in August. This put some fire in me again. I have a tendency to allow my weight to keep me from being outgoing or comfortable around new people. This is the perfect opportunity to network and I know, the better I feel weight/health wise, the more networking I will do and fun I will have.

So, I extended my cardio by 15 minutes and pushed myself during it to work harder. I added my Tuesday workout back in, and am using the weight bench again. Hopefully I will see those mysterious 2lbs I gained last week disappear (which my hubster swears is TOM water weight, how he knows my cycles better than I do is beyond me). Any new motivations in anyone else's life?

WTF?? Weigh In

2010-04-10T08:51:00.000-05:00

I have to say that I confused as to what happened this week. Some how I gained 2 lbs! I did not go off plan, even with eating out Thursday night. So here is the numbers, as unfortunate as they are:

Current Weight: 279.4 lbs
Loss: +2 lbs ~*~
Fat lbs: 116.9
Fat % - 41.9
BMI: See ticker

Things I did differently this week

First and foremost, I am stressed out for the first half of the week, more so than I have been the majority of the semester, because of oral arguments
Because of the time crunch on Wednesday for above, I missed 30 mins of strength that day making my weekly workout time 4.5 hours instead of 5 :(, and I didn't get an additional, 6th, workout in as I hoped
Because I am a little bored with our weight bench at home, I did my strength training using my EA Active & EA Active More Workouts (LOVE THESE). While I may not have been lifting my normal weight, I was using different muscles because I was SORE this week, but in a good way
2 weeks away from TOM, so I highly doubt it was water gain
Lastly, and I think this is the main reason I gained this week, is that I am still struggling with my smoking habit, I smoked 10 cigs over the weekend, and another 10 between Wednesday and Thursday. I think this on/off smoking habit is wrecking my metabolism again and causing the gain. This makes it a little easier to resist them. Hubster, who is also struggling, doesn't think so, but I doubt anything else I did this week would have resulted in a gain.
I did forget my supplements 2 or 3 days this week
For those WWers out there, I ate all my APs/Dailies and all but 1 of my weekly points, which is normal for me, so no change or over/under-eating

Any feedback or ideas would be great :)

This Is It!! Oral Arguments today!

2010-04-07T06:37:00.000-05:00

Today is oral arguments. At 11am I will get up in front of a mix of possible federal judges, moot court members, professors and/or lawyers and argue why my side wins. My knees will knock, I will stammer, but I will speak with my head up (I hope) and do a half way decent job. Lets hope the confidence I am feeling from the gym carries on until my 10 minutes are up :) Wish me luck!

The Weekly Weigh

2010-04-03T12:08:00.000-05:00

Good weekend to you! Just quick post today as I have a ton of things to do the rest of the afternoon. So here is the numbers:

Current Weight: 277.4 lbs
Loss: -.8 lbs ~*~Not huge, but I will take it. I was OP all week, but ate more crap calories than I should have I think
Fat lbs: 114.7 ~*~ Down -.6lbs from last week
Fat % - 41.4% ~*~ Down -.1% from last week
BMI: See ticker

I did workout 5 hours this week. I gotta get my 6th workout in this week, even if its just the EA Active for 30 mins. I like the feeling of accomplishment I have when I get 6 in every week instead of 5.

Well off to study. Oral Arguments are this week, wish me luck!

This is Odd...

2010-03-29T20:48:00.000-05:00

Ever since I can remember I have been super conscious of my weight. Of course, being that I have been in between 200-290 my entire adult life, it would have been hard not to be. Dieting made it worse, I was always waiting for the weight to just disappear, like my life would start when that finally happened.

This time it's different for me. Instead of feeling like I am bigger than what I truly am, I almost feel SMALLER than what I am. I feel great!! Everyday I nseem to notice a little something different, whether it is the way a muscle feels when I flex it, the way a shirt falls differently than it did 2 months ago, the way the outside line of my calf to outer thigh looks. Hubster comments on differences and I feel different when I do the 60 crunches I can do now (6 months ago I could barely do 10).

So, even though I know I am not all super-hot and shit, I FEEL that way. (I have always felt like I look HUGE, immense and grotesque... people always tell me I don't look my weight. I tell them they have an unrealistic idea of what 300lbs truly looked like.) I feel confident and more sure of myself. I feel like I belong at the gym (most of the time) and I even feel like I can take on oral arguments next week without falling into a quivering mass in front of the federal court judges. I have never felt like this before, and I am having fun seeing where the new me can go :)

Anyone else experience this?

Weigh In - More Like It

2010-03-27T08:51:00.000-05:00

Well, this goes to show that using the AP's in WW's the old way is definitely better for me right now. This may change over time, but right now I am sticking to it. Here is my weigh in stats!

Current Weight: 278.2lbs
Loss: -2.7lbs ~*~My biggest loss yet!
Fat lbs: 115.3 ~*~ Down -1.8lbs from last week, I think the rest was water weight from TOM
Fat % - 41.5% ~*~ Down -.2% from last week
BMI: See ticker

I only exercised 5 times this week. We couldn't take our walk Sunday because it was POURING and FREEZING, and since I felt like crap, I skipped it. So, instead of doing Yoga Tuesday we went for our normal Sunday walk. Hopefully the weather won't screw us again this weekend. In other fitness news I am up to 20 reps per exercise, per circuit (I am doing 60 crunches!! Plus 60 of all the over things I do like curls, squats, lunges, etc. Next I will be upping the weight. That, my friends, is an accomplishment!!) and I am really starting to see changes in my arms and legs. Keeps me going even when I DO NOT want to go to them gym , or am feeling overwhelmed b/c of school and don't feel I have the time.

Well kids, I am off for my walk with hubster, then homework, and then a night (hubster is going out of town for the night to see friends) spent with my doggie, a dinner of french toast and egg beaters (ALL things in moderation), TrueBlood DVDs and Warcraft. Bliss.

COMING SOON: Bento Box review.... I haven't done it yet because I want to use some pics. I have been CRAZY busy with school right now with finals in a month, my 35 page paper and the oral argument I have to present in defense of it so I haven't had time to take any pics.

Why Do We Do It?

2010-03-21T16:36:00.000-05:00

This post has been rattling around in my mind for a long time. I read a lot of weight loss blogs, fitness magazines and talk with friends who are also trying to drop weight. Lately I have been noticing a trend throughout the blogs and my friends who are dieting as well, the trend is deprivation, minuscule calorie allowances and the statements that they will never eat "that" again, and I have to ask myself, WHY?

It is a fact that you need a certain amount of calories a day to maintain, or lose weight. That caloric need is based on age, gender, weight, and activity level. Livestong.com has a great system going to tell you how many calories you need to eat, and what portion of those should be protein, fats, fiber, etc, because we all now 2000 calories of junk does not equal 2000 calories of good stuff. As for me, on weight watchers, I have my certain number of points, which decrease by one every time I lose another 10lbs. These plus my activity points and weekly points ensure I am eating enough. I even track my calories at Live Strong, just to make sure WW is keeping me on track. To some eating more seems counter intuitive, but YOU HAVE to eat enough or your body eventually goes into starvation mode and hoards fat, or starts eating your muscles. You may lose large amounts at first on a low amount of calories, but in the long run you are sucking away muscle mass and royally screwing up your metabolism.

Plus, it bothers me when people say they will never eat something again. Why? Changing the way you consume food does not mean depriving yourself of oreos, cake or anything you love. Having a healthy relationship with food means being in CONTROL, being able to plan ahead, allowing yourself treats in moderation and enjoying them. I still eat the things I love, I just don't have them everyday, or every week. But if I want a slice of pizza once a month, I have it. If I want chocolate I eat it. I just eat a small amount OR find a healthier alternative. But to say I will never have those again, to know I will never eat what I love, would be a complete set up for failure for me. That would not mean that I had control over my eating, it would mean that it still had control over me because I could not control myself around it, does that make sense?

I also have friends that balk at the fact that I am happy with my 1lb losses while they are dropping 3-5lbs a week, without, as they point out, exercising, haha on me. To this I reply, yes I am losing weight slower in the big picture but I am gaining muscle, which in turn ups my metabolism, allowing me to eat more of what I want and giving myself a toned core underneath the fat. It also will help me maintain the loss in the long run and keep me from having that flabby deflated look at the end of it all.

The moral of the story is this. Lose weight the healthy way please, by knowing what calories you should be eating, not picking a number you think is best. Look on Livestrong.com, talk to your doctor, something. Don't hurt your body for the sake of vanity. I did for years, and now I am having to work twice as hard at losing the weight because of my screwed up metabolism. Learn how to eat what you want without letting it eat you. Even Megan Fox eats a damn cupcake once in a while. And move more, even if its a 10 minute walk, it will be the best thing you can do for yourself!

Love to everyone going on this journey with me!

Failed Experiment & Weigh In & Measurements

2010-03-20T13:47:00.001-05:00

So, I had the bright idea that I would do the "new" way of following weight watchers, the one they now use in meetings and online. The old way was that you used the Activity Points (APs) you earned, they day you earned them or they were lost to you. The new way is that you use your 35 extra weekly points first, and then if you go over them you move into your "bank" of APs. The thinking is that you will not use them if at all possible and therefore will lose weight quicker. Since I have started I have been doing it the old way, and averaging about a pounbd a week loss except for the couple weeks I went off plan and gained (I really need to get my weekly stas up in the side bar, maybe tomorrow). But that wasn't good enough for me, I wanted to see a larger loss, so I tried the new way this week.

FAIL....

I think that I am too active to not eat my AP's and my body thought I was starving it or something because I was completely, and I mean 100% OP and I GAINED. I am going back to the old way this week, the one that works for me. SO here it is:

Current Weight: 280.9
Loss: +1.3lbs :(
BMI: see ticker
Fat lbs: 117.2
Fat %: 41.7%

This week was my weigh and measure at the gym. I will now post the places where I lost inches:

Thigh: -1in
Waist: -.25in
Hips: -1in
Bust:-1.5in
Total inches lost in 12 weeks: appx 9 inches :)

So even though I gained this week, overall I am still happy with my progess! I worked out 5 times this week, adding more reps to my weight/strength trained circuits, kept up my cardio, will varying the incline for intensity and walked with hubster. I did take the week off from yoga as I was covered in homework, but plan on doing it this week. I stayed OP, even though during the stress of writing a HUGE 35 p[age paper I wanted pasta, pizza and donuts. I will admit I succumbed to a few smokes though. *sigh*

Well, this week starts my last month of my gym program so I don't know if I will be keeping up the membership or moving to home workouts, suggestions?

Weekly Weigh In - Week 11

2010-03-13T07:59:00.000-06:00

First off, let me say that I love my new scale. I love the numbers it gives for for all the little facets of my weight loss, definitely makes a wimpy one pound loss a little easier to bear :)

Current Weight: 279.6 (YES, my first 10 lbs!!)
Loss: -1lbs
BMI: See ticker above
Body Fat lbs: 116.2, that's -3.3lbs from last week! That means i put on some good muscle mass this week!
Body Fat %: 41.6%

EDIT: Greta over at Big Bottom Blogger has a GREAT post on the muscle mass/body fat correlation. Please read it if you think that a small loss on the scale is a fail.

Very happy with these numbers. I am still working out 6 days a week and really beginning to enjoy it. That's a surprise for me. I am also starting to see muscles define themselves underneath all my jiggly joggly bits.

I am hoping my bento lunch box comes in this week because I am excited about being able to take salads, grapes and other stuff to class with me. Finals and oral arguments are coming up so I am to fortify myself as much as I can. I will write a review as soon as I get one.

And I found the coolest workout machine. I want one (well 2, one for me, one for hubster) so bad. It looks like a blast. They are a little spendy though so I doubt I will be getting one anytime soon, maybe not even after I am an attorney.... but I can stare at it and picture the fun I would have on it. God, and you can get it in pink, how great is that! Anyone ever use one?

Progress Pics

2010-03-12T09:53:00.000-06:00

I finally bit the bullet and posted some progress pics. Scroll down the blog to see them. Weigh-in post coming tomorrow. I am now off to dig myself out of the mountain of homework I have to do.

Awesomeness

2010-03-08T17:09:00.000-06:00

More bullet points! They are like crack to law students!

Ordered myself a Laptop Lunches Bento box so I can take something different than my normal reduced fat PB sammich. I got mine in Passion Pink. I can't wait! Review coming after I get it.
Got comfortably in to my next smaller size jeans!
Experienced my first exercise high today. I was strength training, was sweating like a pig, my arms aching and I found myself smiling! I felt great! I never enjoyed exercising, but today i was adding more challenging movements into my circuit, running in place between sets, jumping rope, and had I not had to get ready for class, I might have gone forever. Or at least I felt like I could. I have been feeling like a million bucks all day.
Got a suit for upcoming oral arguments, I look pretty snazzy in it too!

How's things with you guys. Anyone use bento boxes and have some lunch suggestions?

Quick Weigh In

2010-03-06T12:30:00.000-06:00

Hurrah, another really good week, but first the numbers! This is going to be a shirt and sweet post as I have homework to get done and a hubster to spend time with because tomorrow is going to be busy exercising and road tripping.

Current Weight: 280.6
Loss: -1lbs
BMI - See ticker above
Body Fat lbs: 119.5
Body Fat %: 42.3% (According to the gym scale I started at 57.4%, but I don't know how the two scales compare)

Only .6lbs away from my first 10 lbs!!

Highlights this week:

I went over my points by 1 pt this week, but life goes on. I still feel like I am making better food choices and am slowly moving bad stuff out of the house and good stuff in. Points aren't the end of the world.
I exercised 6, YES 6, days this week. 3 of my normal 30min ea of cardio and strength, Monday, Wed and Fri. 40 mins of core focused Yoga and Pilates (sp?) (If you can stream Netflix to your TV or comp, check out the Crunch Yoga video. Excellent workout, a quick and fun 40 mins! I plan on doing this again Tuesday while Hubster is in class). And 2 days of three mile walking/running intervals. I can't explain what an accomplishment this is for me. And I have noticed I am doing these things because I know I have to for my health and not letting myself talking my way out of it. HUGE deal for me. Its almost becoming something I enjoy.... almost.
Lost a lb this week so I am giving it another week using my APs before my WP in WW
Got a super WW scale at Wally World that tracks bone density (Mine is great!), Water percentage (also great) and Body Fat/BMI (Not so much) so I will start posting those weight related stats with my weight loss every week. Starting stats are above.
Made it almost 2 weeks with no stress induced smoking!

Off to do homework before my Sunday Funday! What are som highlights or NSV in your week or month?

Weight Loss Questions

2010-03-02T06:28:00.000-06:00

Buzzy and Breezley's Mama over at the Fat Chick Weigh (coolio blog, btw, check it out) asked what I am doing to lose weight. Excuse typos as I am still working on my morning coffee :) This may be WAY more info than what she wanted, but I am talkative when I am not fully awake.

Foodwise:
I am doing Weight Watchers at home, by my lonesome, lol. I do not have the time to go to actual meetings right now because law school requires 10-12 hour days, and I was just about to do Weight Watchers online before my doggie got sick but now the money needs to go other places. I get the books off of ebay and have info I wrote down here and there from the last time I was one it. I have to say that this time feels different because I am not letting it ruin my entire week if I make a slip, or if the scale doesn't say what I think it should. I am doing it the old way and using my activity points before I use my weeklies, however, I am contemplating doing it the new way by using my weeklies and then moving into my activity points for a few weeks. Haven't decided yet.

*EDIT* I am also taking GNC Be HOT supplements and love them. The extra caffeine is great for getting me through school and I am seeing a definite change in muscle tone between strength training with and without them. I talk about them more here.

Activity:

I do cardio (elliptical or treadmill) at the gym for 30 mins and then do 30 mins of strength 3 days per week. I have moved the strength training to my house because we have a weight bench and other things that challenge me more and I don't have to 1) wait for other people to stop using them, 2) can listen to mp3 books without cords around my head and 3) no one is there and I can zone out more into the movements than I can at the gym. I am getting really bored by the gym and what not. I am quitting the gym because of money (2 full time students means budget budget budget!!!) and moving completely to working out at home. It will save time and money. We just switched to Direct TV and will now have the Fit TV channel. I am hoping that adds some kick to my workouts so I am able to change up what I am doing. 2 days a week (weekends) husbter and I go to the local park where we walk the 3 mile cross country circuit. We have started to add running intervals throughout the walk, which we are adding more time to, and are adding another half lap this weekend. It a nice way to exercise together, enjoy the outdoors and get some fresh.

*Side note to my vent post about not losing. I think it might be that I have added weight to my strength training and my muscles are building. I am still seeing definite changes in my body and I like it. I am going to give it one more week before I go to the new way of using points, or drop a point off my dailies or something.

Frustration

2010-02-27T08:49:00.000-06:00

A .2lb gain this week and I am super frustrated with the whole thing. I know that I need to keep moving forward with it, because eating better and exercising is a move towards being healthy and not all about the way I look. But come on, if we could all down McDonalds everyday and still look like Megan Fox, would we ever climb onto the treadmill? I wouldn't, early grave be damned.

I look at everyone's blogs and they have all these great pics showing massive progress. I feel like I am still the same person I was 2.5 months ago. I mean in those 2.5 month I haven't even lost 10lbs. ARRGH. My jeans are hanging off me but I still can't completely comfortably wear the next size down. I feel like I am stuck on a plateau.

Well I am off to drag my big butt around the park for 3 miles with some resistance band work and running thrown in. My rational side knows this is the right thing to do and that it IS working. My irrational side, however, wants to go grab a pint of Ben and Jerry's Maple Blondie and hide under her bed:(

Current Weight: 281.6
Loss: +.2lbs

On a good note, my doggy is out of the hospital and home, completely recovered!

Where is the Stop Button?

2010-02-24T08:17:00.000-06:00

This week has been icky. For one, I am sick (so ignore typos), but its really the more annoying kind of sick than the flat on your ass sick. I feel decent except for the fact I am a bit nauseated here and there and my head feels like it has been filled with concrete. My nose is stuffy and I am tired. I think i would rather be flat on my ass for a few days and then feel good again rather than have a week where I am operating at 75%. Plus, I really over did it the other day when I tested out my theory of doing workouts at home. I did a home version of the strength circuit I do at the gym with a few modifications thrown in. It felt GREAT when I was doing it, and I was able to go a little further on things I hadn't been able to do when I was working out (or attempting to) at home last semester. Then I woke up the next day and I can barely walk. SO I took it easy at the gym today, doing only 30 mins on the treadmill. An accomplishment on one end because a few months ago I would have done nothing, but a failure in others because I didn't get the workout I have grown accustomed to forcing myself through. I am looking at it as take a break today so i can pick up the pace this weekend.

Law school has been crazy. 1L year is filled with reading and massive writing assignments. As of right now I am working on a 35 page appellate brief that I will then have to do an oral argument on (I am terrified of public speaking, mostly because of my weight), in addition to the 75pgs of reading assigned each day. Plus I have to start preparing for finals.

To top it off, hubster and I woke up yesterday morning to find that our dog had gotten sick 8 times overnight *DISCLAIMER: I am one of those dog owners. We do not have kids so this little shih-tzu is our baby through and through. He has more medical problems than you can count, but he is the SWEETEST baby you will ever meet, and I love him. I would take a bullet for that fat little ball of hair* So we took him to the vet only to find out his pancreas was working wrong and he had to stay over night. I left the vet in tears and promptly bought a pack of smokes. The struggle to remove the last vestiges of my smoking habit lives on. We think he might be able to come home today though, so that makes me very happy. I love knwoing he is somewhere in the house, happlily sleeping away, just being his little adorable self. Dog people will understand.

All of this added to hubster still dealing with a messed up shoulder, both of our class schedules, and trying to find time to just relax is wearing us both out. I almost wish I could go back to eating whatever the hell I want and not working out, because it was easier. Right now fitness and watching every damn thing I out in my mouth seems like one more thing on the grand to do list of my life. I'm tired.

But I love how my body is changing, I like sore muscles from pushing them a little harder each time (just not this sore, I can't even walk up steps without wanting to cry, lol) and I like the sense of accomplishment I feel for finally getting control over this. So I will continue to track, workout and remind myself why I am doing it. I love school and the mental workout it gives me (I am a type A Virgo to a T!). I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading!

PS. On a good note, I have managed to stay OP this week so far and am hoping to hit a new weight decade Saturday morning, even with my gym fail today.

Fitness ?'s

2010-02-22T11:01:00.000-06:00

Would love some advice from people have been on this journey longer than me about gyms and fitness. Please, pass this post/my URL around to anyone you may know that could help me if they are so inclined.

1. I am thinking about quiting my gym and working out at home. We have a nice weight bench thing that, coupled with some weights and resistance bands, gives me the same workout I get from the 12 machine circuit workout at the gym. The only thing I am losing is the elliptical I use for 30 mins each gym visit. But I plan on replacing that with a brisk walk, slowly working up to a run, for 30 mins. My main concern is that I will lose steam when I don't have to workout (I have to go to the gym 3xs a week at least because of this program I am joined with them), but I am liking the results I am seeing, so I think I may be able to keep going. I did the circuit at home to try it out and feel muscles I didn't know I have. What do you guys think?

2. What are some inexpensive home gym staples you use? What do you do at home when you work out? (Please keep in mind my hubby and i are both full time students so our budget is limited).

3. Any place I can find some fun outdoors stuff to do to incorporate into our 3 mile walk both weekend days to up our heart rate?

Thanks to anyone who replies, I look forward to hearing from you.

Weigh In

2010-02-20T08:17:00.000-06:00

I have to admit that this week was a struggle for me. I was able to stay OP through husbters Bday and Valentines Day, but I will went over my points by about 7ish points be last night. I am not mad about it though, I knew the weekend would be hard, plus we had a law school charity event to go to for a group I am a member of. Then, on top of the special occasions, it was TOM and I got sick. But I still did OK this week weight wise.

Current Weight: 281.4
Loss: -1 lbs

Not a huge number, but still a loss. And, with everything this week threw at me I will take it. I still think of this week as a success even with going over my points. I saw a nice reduction in inches at my weigh and measure, a reduction I worked hard for. I, for the first time, really planned ahead and worked on staying on plan even with special means, TOM and illness. I made it to the gym 3 times this week, and knocked my elliptical time up. My current gym session is 25 mins elliptical, 30 mins circuit training, 5 mins treadmill cool down. Srill working on getting stretching somewhere in there, lol. Plus I took and hour walk with interval running with hubster Sunday, and I am am going out for another hour walk (sans running because I have a slight head cold) with him in a few minutes.

GNC Be Hot running review: Still loving them and no bad side effects what so ever. Although I have found the full vitapack and a multi vitamin at the same time can cause a little tummy upset, so I just stagger it or get the vitamin in my smoothie that day. But definitely can see a change from last month and not taking them vs this month and taking them. I will definitely keep using them. To me they are worth the money.

I feel really good about things right now and hope I can continue this trend even when I am not obligated to go to the gym. I would really like to make a nice home gym for little cash. Anyone have any suggestions?

Monthly Measure at the Gym: Month 2

2010-02-17T11:54:00.000-06:00

So here is the report sans the gym weight. I don't report the weight the gym puts me at as it is in the middle of the week, after breakkies, and for some ungodly reason, the first day I am retaining some extra water both measure appointments so far.

Month 2 Stats

Body Fat lost: 1% *~* 2 Month Total - 2.9%
BMI - Down .9 in 2 months (see tracker above, start was 42.6)
Bust - 1 inch lost
Waist - 1.25 inches lost *~* 2 Month Total - 2.5
Bicep - .75 inches lost
Hips - 1 inch lost
Thigh - 1.25
Calf - 0 (not surpising, for a big girl, my calves are pretty tight)

Hellz to the Yeah~!!

YES!!

2010-02-14T21:05:00.000-06:00

I made it through hubsters birthday and V Day 100% OP, even with the wine last night and the Italian tonight. I took half my pasta home, shared a tiramasu with Hayden, and have points left over for the day, all because I planned ahead. This is a major change for me eating wise. It makes me feel like I might have a real shot at changing myself this time.

I ran today, actually ran a track. It is the first time I have actually ran for any length of time (granted it was in intervals with walking) since I was in high school.

Plus, completely off topic, we found a brand new couch and love seat on clearance and got a rocking deal. :)

Hurdle 1 Overcome

2010-02-14T07:44:00.000-06:00

I made it through yesterday with all points tracked, including the 20 (yes 20) points I drank in wine last night. But the hubster only turns 40 once right? And, instead of just saying screw it, I stayed accountable and tracked the wine. I have even planned the dinner we are getting tonight into the day today and think I will be able to stay OP with a little creativity over the week. As for my workout today, I think I am skiving off the gym and hitting the track with the hubster (today is pure cardio day in my workout book) and taking a few interval training laps around the track and one big brisk walk around the entire park. Its a really good way for both of us to spend some non-school related time together since he is a student too, and for us to get some activity into our lives, especially since he has a messed up shoulder right now.

Enjoy your Valentines Day everyone!

Server is Down (Weigh In)

2010-02-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

I have to admit that I only have time to post because my server is down. I am an avid World of Warcraft player and since I am in law school I only get a few hours each weekend to play, Saturday mornings being some of them. But the game is down so I am going to get my weigh in posting out of the weigh before we head out for the day to celebrate my beloveds 40th bday!

Current weight: 282.4
Loss: 2.6lbs

Very pleased I lost the weight I gained last week, plus just a smidge more. My week was 100% OP and I got (well I will as of tomorrow morning) all 4 gym visits in. I doubt hubster and I will get out for our walk this weekend just because we are so busy with Vday, his Bday and the homework that is being shoved around because of everything going on. Maybe we can get out there one day this week.

My one thing I am not so proud of is that we are falling off the smoking wagon now and again. We aren't smoking everyday, but for the past few weeks we have bought a pack here and there when we knew we were going to be drinking a few drinks with some friends (like today) or one weekend when we had a REALLY stressful couple of days due to his absolutely psycho family. So while we aren't smokers per se again (notice how my lawyer brain can justify this, lol) we are close and we need to stub out the butts so to speak. My metabolism was totally whacked when we quit a year ago and I don't want to screw it up now when I am doing so well.

On an interesting note, I read an article in my Glamour mag, maybe a year or so ago, that a person only has so much will power and self control. So people who are quitting smoking/dieting/trying to break some other bad habit, will have problems controlling others. They had the example of trying to quit smoking and then going to the mall and trying to control your spending. You are more likely to spend more money because you are so focused on controlling your smoking. Made a lot of sense to me, but then again, studies aren't 100% fool proof either.

Goals for this week.

1. Stay OP even with the wine I am drinking tonight.
2. Track everything, even the wine I am drinking tonight and the Italain pasta for dinner tomorrow night, lol.
(1-2 will be struggle this week, definitely need to get in an extra workout somewhere)
3. Get to the gym 4 times, 1hr walk with husbter at park.
4. Stop these little smoking binges!! I would almost go off plkan with a few points. mI am really disappointed in us about this :( I don't understand whym out of ALL the bad habiuts I have had, smoking keeps coming back like an abusive boyfriend/girlfriend. AND I TAKE IT BACK EVERYTIME. I wouldn't do it if it was a person, why I am doing it with deathsticks??

Anyone else deal with this? What did you do? What are you opinions on the will power study?

The "In-Betweens" Suck

2010-02-09T11:55:00.000-06:00

This is my least favorite part about losing weight, (well this and walking by all the cheesecake in the bakery section chanting "Not gonna eat it, not gonna eat it,") it's what I like to refer to as the in-betweens. You know, in between this size and the next smaller. I am at an awkward jean size. the ones I am currently wear fit as in they don't hit the floor when I stand up, but are just a hair to big in the legs and the butt causing everyone to comment on it. Cool for the fact that I lost weight, not cool that I look like I can't buy clothes that fit. My next size down in jeans is about 15ish lbs away I think, a month and half maybe? So I am stuck in my Bozo jeans staring at the almost new jeans I grew out of when I quit smoking in the summer. Bleh.... anyone else hate this? Any tips, or am I the only one who thinks about it.

On an OP note, this weekend will be a challenge. With my new weigh in day on Saturday my points reset for the week, but Saturday is hubsters 40th B-Day and Sunday is V-day. Some things I already have a plan of attack for, others look like they might attack me. (On a side, non-food related note, my angel, reason for being and apple of my eye, Radclyffe AKA Piggy, my Shih Tzu turns 6 tomorrow... so many birthdays!) Saturday we will be having lunch out with friends. I am planning on a veggie burger and healthy side if we go where I think we are going. Satuday night is steaks at home with hubster, his sister and her wife. But I found a good, non-fatty steak, and am pairing it with a salad and baked potato so not to worried about points there since I like my baked pots nearly naked. Plus I plan on really trimming the fat the steak does come with and loading my plate with veggies to fill it up and keep me away from going over my 1 roll limit. However, I am planning on getting into the wine, 2-3 glasses at the most, and haven't figured the points out for that yet. Sunday is gym day but we are going for Italian for dinner at my FAVE place.... I haven't figured out a plan of attack for that yet except maybe going for an hour walk after dinner or something. Any suggestions on healthy Italian dishes that don't use *gag* zucchini or eggplant?

Changing the WI and Gaining

2010-02-06T08:11:00.000-06:00

I am changing my WI date to Saturday instead of Sunday. With Hayden and I off together we tend to eat foods with higher point values on the weekends and lower during the week (like most people) and having the WI on Sunday was too hit or miss for me. I am going to try it for a month here and move it once more to Friday if needed.

Bleh. I knew it was going to happen, I knew it.

Current weight: 285 lbs
Loss: None, a 1.7lb gain

Oh well. I know that the scale isn't a total indicator of my progress, but it was still a teensy disappointing. I have to focus on things like the way my clothes fit, they way I feel, etc etc. And I have to just get right back on the horse and keep moving forward. I refuse to be the perfectionist I was last time I did WW and chuck everything the minute I did something "wrong." So, as Hadley says "Onwards and Downwards." Plus I have to pat myself ont he back for all I have done right in the past 2 months: eating healthier and making better food choices (and making hubster aware of this too!), joining a gym (an emotional roller coaster and a HUGE step for me) and realizing that I have to be accountable for everything.

A question for my readers.... when does exercise stop hurting? My muscles ache every day now and while I love exercising, I don't enjoy feeling like I am 80 yes old. If you know of anyone that would have some advice, could you forward this question to them and as them to leave a comment. Wisdom from those on this road longer would be great.

Don't Know What to Expect on Sunday

2010-02-04T12:27:00.000-06:00

Sunday is weigh-in for me and I am resigned to the fact that there could be a gain. I knew this was a possibility because we had a lovely dinner for friends at our house last Sunday. While I didn't eat the table out from under the food, I know I went over my points, just because of what we ate. My one victory is that I still paid attention to portion sizes and stopped myself from eating the brownies by freezing them in single portions. That's good because A) They were out of sight and B) I really have to want one to unfreeze it, no impulsive shoveling into my mouth allowed.

Another victory is getting right back on the horse instead of chucking the whole week, which I would have done before. No, I accepted my fall, analyzed how I could have handled things better and dragged my butt right back to the gym and back to eating OP this week. Other than the one fall Sunday and some of Monday - leftovers!!) I have been OP and following my gym routine. Plus hubster and I are planning a walk, weather permitting, Saturday, so that will give me 5 workouts this week. I am very happy about that :)

What are some victories for you guys lately?

Week 5 Stats and Be Hot Review

2010-01-31T07:39:00.000-06:00

As you can see school and life is still keeping me busy enough that my posts are a bit lack luster lately (hurrah for alliteration!). I still got a couple busy weeks ahead of me, but I'll do what I can. I'll try to make up for it in length.

Please excuse the lack of coherence this post might have. I am typing it WHILE I am drinking my coffee as opposed to after, and it should show :) I just know I won't have time again today to blog.

Current Weight - 283.3
Loss - 1.9 lbs

Hurrah! I don't know if its due to the GNC Be Hot pills or the fact I am up to 4 days a week at the gym. Probably a little both if you ask me.

Now for some thoughts on the GNC pills. As you can see from looking at the link above, the Be Hot box has a combination of 3 different supplements: Be Energized, Be Defined, Be Enhanced. Be Energized is caffeine, be Defined promotes muscle toning and Be Enhanced has Amino Acids that are need to repair, enhancement of metabolism and build a healthy body. I have always been skeptical of supplements and I loathe taking pills on a daily basis, but I wanted to try these. I am really glad I did. I have felt better this week than I have before I started my health kick. I have extra energy, but with no jitters, and have been able to push myself a little harder in the gym. I have seen absolutely no bad side effects besides a little nausea if I don't take the pills with food. For those with caffeine issues, the Be Energized pills have 200mg of caffeine, for reference, the average cup of joe has about 125mg. I have had no problem with the caffeine, but I also drink about 4 cups of coffee a day and 2 Diet Mtn Dews (yes I am a caffeine addict, but I have quit smoking and all my other vices, so I am not giving this one up). I can't tell a difference in regards to the Defined and Enhanced Supplements as there is to much fat covering the muscles to see definition in them. However, the hubster says he can see my body changing. All in all I love the supplements and have already bought more.

Now they are pricey, $50 for a month supply, so here is what I am doing. I bought 2 boxes at GNC yesterday because they were having a BOGO 50% off sale on the Well-BEing line and I bought a bottle of a 60 day supply of the Be-Energized off of eBay. So I have 60 day supply of the Be Energized pills and a 90 day supply of Be Hot. So to make it all stretch as long as possible. I take the Be Hot packs on workout days (because if I am not working out that day, why should I waste muscle toning pills) and the Be Energized pills on non-workout days just for the little energy and metabolism boost they give. So 60 supply should last 5 months and the 90 day supply would last almost 8 months. Frugal!! If anyone has any questions about the pills and how they effect me, please ask. As stated above, I am far from awake and am not blogging at my best this morning!

Well on that note, I am off to the gym for some cardio and that's it. I pulled the SAME muscle in my neck that I pulled 2 weeks ago on one of the machines so I am giving strength the day off. Plus I want an excuse to show off my super cute new Betsey Johnson bag (got it for a gym bag and even got a new Kathy Van Zeeland purse on the low low too!) I found for $10 at TJ Maxx yesterday.

Free Gym Music!

2010-01-27T13:45:00.000-06:00

Get some free music for your gym sessions from Subway and the Biggest Loser. Thanks to Prior Fat Girl for the tip!!

Unconventional Conventionalist

Still Here, I Promise!

Re-Commitment Day

So Glad September is Over

Livestrong is Going Strong

Why is Nothing Working? GRRRRR!!

Weight Watchers Lost My Money

2.1 Loss and an Art Journal Page

Just a LITTLE Frustrating - Advice?

5K Training

Crafty Blog Goodness

Daddy Dearest - A Vent

Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?

Yep, Still Here

Winner Winner

GIVEAWAY - 2 Days Left!!

Coffee Break Blog Giveaway!

Quickie! 2.9lbs loss & Giveaway Next Week!

Bleh I Was RIght & Giveaway News!

Lost Mojo is Lost

New Items in Etsy and ArtFire Shops!

When NIBS Attack!!

Good News/Bad News

Yipee!!

My Etsy and ArtFire Shops are Open!!

Finally, A Loss

And Now for Something Completely Different - A New Blog!

Another Gain *sigh*

Blah, A Gain

New Year, New Title

.... But Not Yet

And So it Ends....

The Required Look Back - -40lbs, New Interests and Rising Anxiety

Blah...

OOOOO Crafty Crafty!

Fabric Giveaway for Anyone that Sews

2.3 Loss and Victory!

.4 Loss, I'll Take It!

A Small Gain and a POLL!!!

Progress Pic

2 weeks, 2 losses

10 Months Strong and Back With a 1.3 Loss

Up Down Up Down

1.2 Loss and a NSV!!!

2.8lb loss!! Happy birthday to me!! LONG Post

Arrgh!!

I DID IT!!

I'm Back! with a 1.6 Loss!!

NSV ~ New Jeans

Yes I am Fat, but I have a Right to Be Here Too

RUNNING .....Late Again

OMG BODYBUGG GIVEAWAY FROM KYOKO!!!

Take This Diet and Shove It - But Not My NSV

Diet Girl Rocks!

Week 31 Weigh In

Slooooow Down!

Weigh In Suprise

Run, Don't Walk

Weigh In - Week 28 (Wow)

Isn't it Always Something

Finally!

A Gain but Positive :)

I Don't Even Know

Nice! A 4lbs Loss and a Mile Ran!

Staying the Same

Day Late and a Dollar Short

Frustration

No Loss on 10K Day but Still a Win!

WOWSER Weigh In! & Questions for Any Old Health Pro's

Mini Goal Achieved!

Fighting the Good Fight

Weigh In ~ Meh

Ditching, Opinions Welcome

Stress Is Trying to De-rail Me .... But It Won't!

Weigh In! ~*~ Week 16!!

Just What I Needed - New Motivation

WTF?? Weigh In

This Is It!! Oral Arguments today!

The Weekly Weigh

This is Odd...

Another Gain sigh